Wow, looka here. 100 101 followers! How exciting. I'm glad you so desire to be privy to my rants, joys, struggles, accomplishments, failures, new ventures, and everything else that composes my disordered life. Moments are never too dull over here. Thank you for wanting to be here for each and every moment of it!

Half the week is gone and I have definitely not been lounging. I started the week off by continuing the process of applying for state jobs. I had to take an exam to gain eligibility for the positions that I am interested in. Working for the state of California is NOT a goal, but there are some positions that offer an independent work environment, a salary and some benefits, so I don't have anything to lose by making them an option... unless of course the state applies more cuts. The rate that my Kipenzi works, and the blood, sweat and tears that goes into his position makes me appreciate just how hard state workers grind. While not every state job is as challenging as his, right now, state workers are hanging on to their jobs by a thread, while being paid less for what they do, so I'm humbled by it all. I should find out the results of my state exam by next week.

In the meantime, I'll be working on stocking Baby Squares. I got my very first custom order yesterday! I was able to go out and get the yarns that I needed and I started working on it last night. I am so excited. Sometimes I don't feel like there is a need for what I do with yarn. The majority of the time I encounter people who either already have crocheters in their family or they just can't see paying a certain price for a handmade blanket. I am so grateful for a place like Etsy, and for friends who are eager to support me. Crocheting brings me a lot of joy and peace, so its great to be able to turn a passion into profit.

Life is still so fast paced, and I'm really trying not to let it run me over. I am reminding myself to take things one day at a time, one project at a time, one commitment at a time. Reminding myself that the S on my chest really doesn't stand for Superwoman, but for Self - preservation.

For more from Pretty In Peace click here.

I am officially a shop owner! An Etsy shop owner. Its been a real process deciding on a name for the shop, deciding if I should really open a shop only having 3 blankets, deciding if my photographs are appealing enough to attract folks...

I sucked it up, spent a couple of days figuring out things on my own - combined with bugging asking the wonderful Mrs. Allen-Mercado for her Etsy know-how, dos and don'ts, and "how does it look nows". Finally, its here. Baby Squares is here!

I hope that you will all stop by and pay me a visit. If you see something you like, GET IT! No pressure =). I am hoping to go yarn shopping soon so that I can add some pretty purples, pinks and other brightness to the trio. Custom is an option, especially since I only have a few pieces over there. Just shoot me an email at babysquares@gmail.com.

The virtual world is such an amazing place. Just the opportunities to meet new people every single day; the sharing of life experiences and lifestyles. Its an introvert's dream palace. Speaking of lifestyles, as you know, last year I made the decision to start rocking my natural hair. I've been having so much fun playing in it. Growing it and chopping it off again. The best part of living this new natural hair lifestyle is the community that comes with it. A community that I wasn't even aware existed before now. One of beauty, support and acceptance. Its awesome!

I recently met the beautiful Angie of naturallengths.com, on the natural hair social networking site Natural Sunshine, and she invited me to be featured on her blog. I was honored and I accepted. If you want to check me out, click here.

I've been waking up and going to bed with my Mac this week. Its like job search madness over here, jumping from screen to screen, this position and that. I'm finding some things that look good, but always looking for 'the next best thing'. I know that I will need to get to work on tackling the list of possibilities soon, and I think I'm almost there. I'm not exactly idly creating a list though, I've been applying for some positions with the state (which in hindsight seems like the dumbest idea EVER since the state of California is still basically on its way to hell!) and have an exam for one position on Monday. They don't call this a "process" for nothing.

Then there is this whole moving thing. I have a month to pack up my house and get to steppin'. As I look around, I keep telling myself that its not gonna be that difficult to get things packed up. That I don't have that much stuff. I'm gonna keep telling myself that as I go through this place doing all the pre-pack work.

Change is on the horizon.

You know what I really hate? When people tell me shit that I already know! Especially when I am trying to gain NEW information. I am STILL waiting for my professor to submit my thesis grade. I thought that since it was already the end of the semester, that one more paper would NOT be that big of a deal for her to read, but obviously I was wrong. Obviously ONE WHOLE MONTH has not been enough time for her to read and grade my paper. Obviously "I" was the only person who had a deadline when it comes to this fucking paper!

I sent a second inquiry email to the professor and cc'd it to the department adviser. The adviser felt that it was totally necessary to remind me that the professor has started a new semester, thus, will get around to my thesis whenever she has time. First of all, DUH BITCH! I am fully aware that this is a new semester and that the heffa is teaching a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12:30-2pm! I am also aware that I submitted my thesis to her a month ago and that should have been ample time for her to do what she needed to do. What the hell does she mean that she'll get around to it when she has time?? If that were the case, why the fuck did I need to submit it within a certain time frame? If deadlines didn't matter, I could have still been working on it! As bad as I am trying to put UC Berkeley behind me, its like I am forever tied to it. I came, I saw, and now I'm trying to move the fuck on, SO LET ME DAMNIT!

In other news... actually, let's not even get into the other news. I think my blood pressure is already high enough for today. Instead, I think I'm gonna go put on my electric kettle and make myself a tall ass mug of Peppermint tea!

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that, in 5 more months, it will have been 7 years since the day I got to meet the child I had been loving and caring for inside my womb. This consciousness also has me constantly thinking about the day that I will be blessed with another child. I never wanted more than 2 years between my children because it was important to me that they grow up together. But, as we all know, not everything works out the way we plan. If another child is in my future, Miss J will in fact be the much older sister. I worry about what that will mean for her. I know what it meant for me, ending up with a sister who was 8 years younger than myself.

Join me over at Moms of Hue today to chat it up about sibling relationships. I wanna hear your experiences, both as an older or younger sibling, and as the mother of siblings, if that shoe fits.

The non-stop and the fast paced. That was life's course today. I devoted some time to getting a few things done. I managed to complete the first steps in applying for another job. A much better position than the one I would have settled for. My Kipenzi showed me that he was on Team Barbara by generating some leads for me. I really appreciated it. I don't exactly have a specific direction that I am heading toward career wise, but from the information I gave him about my likes/dislikes and will/will-not-do, he was able to find me something that I am comfortable with. We'll see what happens.

The rest of my day was spent laughing with friends, which I really needed. We now have the 411 on what happened to Miss J's grandmother, and luckily, her boyfriend was charged with her murder. I hope that he is prosecuted and gets the punishment that someone would deserve for senselessly stabbing someone to death. Her funeral service will be on Thursday and I haven't shared this information with Miss J yet. I had her try on a new dress that she has in her closet, and when she asked where we were going, I told her that I would tell her later. I don't know why I always do this. I'm always nervous about telling her that someone passed away, even though, each time, she handles the news far better than I think she will. I know that she will handle the news well, but I guess the whole process of explaining to her that her dad's mother died is a little weird for me. I will probably have the talk with her tomorrow when we are settling into our after school routine.

You know, I have the most amazing group of friends. I really, really do. They are always there to give me a 'pick me up' when I need it the most. They constantly remind me of why I am here, and they give me all the encouragement and space I need to simply 'do me'. They just know when I need to be pulled out of my cocoon and when I should stay in. I could be wrong, but I don't think they make groups of ladies anymore like the ones who have been placed in my life. I love them dearly.

And of course, I love all of you wonderful ladies too! Did you for some reason think this didn't apply to you? You each have your own special place within my extended family.

The professor who was overseeing my thesis once told me that. These days, I'm putting it into practice. I decided to pass on going to the interview today, with the option to call and reschedule at a later date. I just couldn't fully make the commitment or waste my time, and theirs, by going through the motions today. I've been searching and researching more opportunities and I am sure that I will "get in where I fit in" when the time is right.

I got my application submitted for junior college and now its all a matter of working out a few kinks in their generalized requirements and getting enrolled in the math class. At this late date, I am really hoping that the class isn't full. That would really be irritating. Completely my fault, but irritating nonetheless. On the other hand, if it were full and I did have to wait yet another semester (God forbid) it would only give me complete freedom to choose a job position without time restraints, which could mean the difference between part time and full time. We'll see how it all goes down in the next few weeks.

As you all know, I happen to be a natural hair lover. I think I become more in love obsessed with natural hair styles and care every single day, so its no surprise that I have been stumbling upon all kinds of fabulous natural hair blogs. My obsession with hair didn't start when I went natural, but started somewhere during my teenage years. I fell in love with hair magazines, and to this day, even without hair, I hoard them! I can't leave a Walgreens or any other store's book/mag section without at least looking through a black hair magazine.

One of the natural hair blogs that I now read is Black Girl with Long Hair. Its great. Always featuring the beautiful styles and wisdom of natural women. I enjoy reading the experiences of other natural women and following their progress through before and after pictures. Last night, Miss J and I did the hair dance. You know the one. Where I become the enemy with the deadly weapon known as comb, and she takes on the duty to destroy me. She has been rocking a ponytail for a while so her little scalp was kinda sore, but she took the combing out process like a pro. There were tears, and one too many breaks, but we got through it, with big smiles and beautiful plaits as the reward.

With favorite detangler/moisturizer in hand, we started the first section.


Check out her length. My lil' black girl with long hair.

Its nearly to her waistline. We keep this good hair care up and she'll be sitting on it once she hits high school! Her crop reminds me of my own. Back in the day when I broke combs in the hair salon, and held my ear when my great-grandmother would press it out, and when I'd sit crying, arms stretched wide, wishing my cousin would come rescue me as he stood admiring my pretty long hair and my great-grandmother's hard work. Those were the days. Seeing my baby's hair makes me excited to get mine to where hers is. So we can rock our wild curls together. This year, I'm trading the clippers for pretty hair accessories! I can't wait to see how big my hair will be come the end of the year.

Winter Break must come to an end. I'm sitting here trying to determine if I want to get out of bed or not. Although there are things that need to be done, after reading the wise words of Mrs. Allen-Mercado, I'm asking myself, "do I really want to?" The answer is a big fat NO. I'd much rather spend my Saturday lazily under the covers. Obviously Miss J would like to spend her Saturday during the same because she has invited me to pop some corn and watch a movie with her. Perhaps its because its wet aside, or because I know this is the last official day of rest since tomorrow will be spent preparing to get back in the grove of getting Miss J off to school and such, whatever the reason, staying in bed sounds kinda nice.

I finally decided to crack open Suze Orman's Women & Money last night, and now half way through, I'm sitting here accompanied by this month's bills, a pen, a pad and a calculator. I'm usually really organized and routine with my finances, but ever since I was laid off things have been all over the place. Since its a new year, and I have new job opportunities unfolding, its time to restore order. I figure, I at least need to know all of the important numbers so that once income gets generated everything can just fall into place. I find the 5-month plan that Suze outlines in her book to be interesting, so I'm going to try it and see where it gets me. So far, it all looks promising because some of the steps that she suggests, I already do.

Lucky for me, all of this can be done from the comforts of my bed.

1. Last night was amazing. While my daughter was having a fabulous time making baguettes with one of her best friends in preparation for the new year, I had the opportunity to clean house and welcome my Kipenzi over, after a long day at work, for a romantic candlelight dinner. It was a beautiful way to ring in the new year.

2. Its gonna be all about "chasing metamorphosis" for me this year.

3. The funniest thing about being a mother in college is the fact that your child thinks you are the guardian of all knowledge, and when you don't have the answer, will say things to you like, "what do you mean you don't know? You're suppose to be smart."

4. I'm "this" close to wrapping up a major milestone in my life ...so where do we go from here?

5. He said she's perfect, and that she is one of the only people who really "gets" him; she said there is a chance that he might be "the one."

6. Despite what we may believe, our individual lives' purpose has not already been written out for us, but waiting to be discovered and it's up to us to find it.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to finishing up a pastel green and white baby blanket that I started earlier in the week, tomorrow my plans include thinking more about and preparing for a job interview that I have on Monday. Uh huh, that's right. Your girl has a job interview on Monday morning... right after I head to get my hair lined all nice and neat, and Sunday, I want to spend some quality time with Miss J's fro getting it washed and twisted up so that she can kick off the second half of 1st grade like a champ!

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