I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry... and I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry... if that's what you want alright.

-Johannes Mehserle had a bail hearing today, in which bail was granted. The judge set bail at $3 million, stating that Mehserle was not a flight risk or a danger to the community.

-Mehserle has hired a new attorney who is arguing that the crime committed was not murder, but manslaughter.

-A second officer, Tony Pirone, is currently under investigation. Pirone, who pinned Grant's head to the ground with his knee right before Mehserle fired his gun was also seen, on video, leaving a man unattended to go punch a restrained Grant in the face, knocking him to the ground.

-"Resisting arrest" charges dropped against a man who was beaten by Mehserle a few weeks before the killing of Oscar Grant.

-Oakland police department under investigation in cases involving the mishandling of warrants.

-Mehserle says that he "thought Grant had a gun". (at what point, since Grant's hands were behind his back?)

-News of the "bail, not jail" led to more angry protests today in Oakland and heavy police presence was enforced to try to avoid rioting.

-UC Berkeley's BAMN (Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action, Integration
& Immigrant Rights, and Fight for Equality By Any Means Necessary) teamed up with other UC campuses, including Riverside, Santa Barbara, and Santa Cruz for a statewide march for demands in the case:

• Jail All the Killer Cops
• End BART's and District Attorney Orloff's cover-up—Open an independent public investigation of the murder
• Disarm the BART police, and keep the BART police out of Oakland
• Drop all the charges against protesters

To participate in Friday Fill-Ins click --->here<---


1. I'd really like to be super organized right now.

2. God-dammit! is the word phrase you'd most often hear me say if I stubbed my toe.

3. Possession is powerful.

4. Share the booty, Captain Jack Sparrow.

5. Marshmallows and fire go together like rootbeer soda and vanilla ice cream.

6. I could go on and on.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to trying to get myself over this cold, tomorrow my plans include channeling my inner strength and Sunday, I want to go into this 3rd week of classes proactively!

The second week of classes is winding down and I have found myself to be already behind in my reading assignments. I'm not alone. This seems to be the story of other Cal mommies as well. Tales of late registrations, wait-listed classes, sick babies and financial aid hangups. There is always "something". Each semester is different from the last and requires a completely new set of strategies to make it through. Often, when many of us are on our second and third weeks of hunger (yes, some of us actually are starving while attending one of the top universities in the country), exhausted from burning the candle at both ends, and trying to master the art of mothering (and fathering... can't forget about the Cal dads) our children, we are left wondering if all that we go through, all that we have to sacrifice is really worth it.

Right now, I am amongst the bunch who are awaiting a financial aid pay out. No books (+) no note taking materials (+) a lame computer (x) frustration, further irritability and disorganization (/) depressive episodes = lots of unhappiness and disorientation. The optimism that I once had has been replaced by the usual chronic worry. I want so much for a new life, a new state of being... just for things to go right for a change, before they head wrong. Furthering my education was suppose to afford me these things. Instead, I am living a life that seems to be harder than the one that I lived growing up. A continued "suffering", but in a new context, with new rules to the game. Yes, this is a great opportunity and it is very much worth it and life will be so much better for my daughter and I once I have my degree, yada yada yada. That still does not cast a shadow on the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly grind that is endured in the quest for the American Dream.

I'm down now, but I am still looking up. I know that my financial aid will show up just before my computer dies for the final time, I will get all the books and materials that I need, I will cry and have sleepless nights over completing the 47 pages of writing for four different classes, I will bitch and moan about not being cut out for this shit, I will give my all and finish the semester with not one class failed, I will have a few days break and then get ready to devise a new strategy for surviving the summer that will earn me a degree.

I received this award a few days ago from the lady of The Leaves of Tarkong, who is also a single mommy =). Blogging from the Philippines, she shares her life, as well as reviews of a variety of products and services.

I can't think of a better thing to be awarded for than honesty!

As with any award there are rules. I must tell you 10 honest things about myself, then share this award with 7 other wonderfully honest peeps.

Soooo, um....

1. I was an Xtra spoiled kid, or maybe it was just extra loved. I was the apple of my great-grandmother's eye... her baby... one of the favs, so she always went out of her way to make sure that I didn't have to focus on too much other than staying on the honor roll. I've been told that in her eyes I could do no wrong, but um... I've picked switches that would beg to differ. Anyhoo... I slept in the same bed with my great-grandma until I was 13 years old. A long time, I know, but hey, why give up all that grandmotherly warmth and comfort if you don't absolutely have to?

2. I may have told you this before, but I am a total introvert. I have no problem making my own party all by myself. I appreciate friendships and being social, but I have a bit of social anxiety... which could also be anti-social personality disorder, lol. New groups and big crowds send my anxiety into overdrive so you wont really catch me on the club scene with all of the other "normal" 24 year olds.

3. I am emotionally ready for another baby. I didn't anticipate Miss J rolling solo for this long. The plan was to have two children close enough in age to be able to grow up together, as opposed to having a situation where the "older" child is always in some kind of care taker role being responsible for the "younger" child. I swear, I'm gonna blink and she's gonna be 10, and then it'll be like, what's the point? Hopefully we will be blessed once I am financially ready for another baby.

4. My entire 5th grade year in elementary was spent performing. I honestly can't remember doing anything other than practicing for a performance or actually being on stage. Our teacher was big on the arts and he taught us tap dance and raps about kids staying away from drugs.

I caught this over at SASSY and thought it was funny as hell... mostly because of all the Single Ladies remakes.

Nine months ago I had my second breast ultrasound, and six months before that I had my first.

The First Encounter...

During my physical exam, my doctor was in the middle of reminding me of what to look for during a self breast exam when her fingers rolled over it. A small lump that felt like a marble in comparison to the natural lumps inside of my young breasts. Then the questioning began... Have you felt this before? Its possible, or not, since I had not been examining myself each month like I'm suppose to and since that was her first time feeling it. Did you breastfeed? No, my sweet little baby was given a pacifier and bottle in the hospital before I could get to her and she got nipple confusion. (why she was no immediately given to me after birth is another story for another post)

Ok, then that must be it. She felt that since the lump was near my nipple that I probably just had a blocked duct, but she wanted to make sure. She got the necessary paperwork together and I scheduled an appointment. I was anxious about finding out exactly what this lump was. Was it just a blocked duct? Was it cancer? If so, was it something that could be removed? Was I gonna have to lose my breast? What exactly was I going to be dealing with here? After the doctor viewed the ultrasound photos he didn't feel that we were dealing with cancer, but wanted me to keep an eye on it and come back in six months.

Ultrasound Revisited...

The second visit was much like the first. The blue and white gown opened in the front. The warm jelly. The wand circling and pressing on my breast. The clicks of the mechine. The reviewing of the photos and the same conclusions from the doctor.

Third Time Around...

Upon reviewing the photos, the doctor still has no real idea of what has nestled itself inside of my breast, but the good news is that whatever it is, it has remained the same size this entire time, which means good news. I have options. I can just monitor it. I can have a biopsy. If its a cyst, as my doctor thinks, I can have it removed by inserting a needle into it. I am curious to know what it is, so I may request a biopsy, just to be on the safe side, and if it turns out to just be a cyst I will opt to have it removed. My brain is much too impaired to remember to exam it religiously and I will just feel better knowing that it, and anything else that shouldn't be, isn't there. My family history gives me enough cancer anxiety as it is.

Now, having just said that, you ladies be sure to keep up with your breast health... not just during Breast Cancer Awareness month!

The Dots & Blocks Personalized Lunchbox from Che'demi's Boutique, created by the wonderful LaTonya Yvette. I won this last month in one of Denene's giveaways. I am super excited that it has arrived and I know Miss J will be too when she gets to see it in a couple of hours. I wont have to ask what she'll be taking her snack in next week!

Another thank you to both LaTonya and Denene for their generosity and ability to spread happiness in their work. Hopefully I will be able to get pictures of Miss J toting her new box.

To participate in Friday Fill-Ins click --->here<---

1. Oh, I am so irritable!

2. I welcome all positive changes, big and little.

3. During scary movies, I do a lot of ridiculous screaming... and some inappropriate laughing.

4. So, you mean to tell me that I am now responsible for completing my thesis (20-25 pages) AND completing a 18-25 page research paper; are you kidding me???

5. Right now I'd like to be playing in the snow.

6. My cell phone is my favorite gadget.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting caught up on this week's readings, tomorrow my plans include doing a little personal research and Sunday, I want to get ready to tackle another exciting week!

Answering the President-Elect's call to service on MLK Day, I will be participating in making some donations of coats to my city's community center, which is hosting a Serve Expo.

Get involved by committing some hours out of your day to serving your community or make a donation of canned food, blankets, coats and anything else that you think can help someone in need, to local service organizations.

Go out and make your mark on the world!

To participate in Friday Fill-ins click --->here<---

1. Enough with the badge of "tolerance", lets try on a little "acceptance" instead.

2. The ideology of the American Dream causes me to be conflicted.

3. I've been craving a healthy dose of peace of mind.

4. Miss J's crazy little sense of humor makes me laugh.

5. I wish I could go to the movies next week.

6. The future has been on my mind lately.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to trying to talk my grandma into making me some brownies (as if my PHAT ass needs them), tomorrow my plans include joining some fellow Cal mommies for some drinks and laughs and Sunday, I want to try to remind myself that this week is the beginning of the rest of my life!

Samantha Gregory of Rich Single Momma is the author of this book and has just informed me that an autographed copy will be on its way to my house in a couple of days! As part of her monthly giveaways, she decided she would bless 1 lucky mother with her guide and inspiration. She was in such a giving mood that she chose to give away 2 more! I was one of the lucky 2. I am very excited because this will be the first "single mother" book in my library, and what single mother wouldn't want to collect as many secrets to success that she can? Which is why I will soon be purchasing a copy to add to UC Berkeley's Student Parent Center. An abundance of shared resources is like the ultimate in motherhood networking. We are always on a quest to find as much information and tactics as possible to lessen the stress of combining full time academia with full time parenting, of all kinds. I don't care what you've heard, being a student parent is just as challenging, if not a bit more, than being a working parent.

Anyhoo... I am looking forward to taking in Samantha's wisdom. She has an amazing story of struggle and triumpth. You should check her out, even if you aren't a single mother, she is a wonderful asset with her Side Hustle series.

Thanks again Samantha!

Since the mini riot in Oakland, CA, there have been a number of other peaceful protests in Oakland and San Francisco, as well as members of the community and community leaders attending meetings with BART and the district attorney's office. There has been an overwhelming push for the arrest of Johannes Mehserle, the former BART police officer who killed Oscar Grant on New Years day, and now it has finally happened. Mehserle was arrested yesterday in Nevada on a warrant for murder that was issued by Alameda County. The Bay Area now awaits Mehserle's return. You can read more about his arrest --->here<---.

Although this is a victory toward justice, there is still the possibility that there will be no justice for Oscar Grant in this case. Authorities have worries about finding an impartial jury should this case go to trial. Will the jury be able to view the video evidence without police bias? They feel that the level of emotion surrounding the case and the personal experiences and views of people concerning the police will not allow for a fair trial. Will this trial be a repeat of the Rodney King trial, which also had video evidence? Will Mehserle walk? With little faith in the justice system, he could, but I see that being difficult to explain since he was clearly captured firing the fatal shot. In any case, I hope Mehserle now has his story straight because we are all waiting to hear it.

The fight continues as there will be another protest today in Oakland calling for justice. Protesters will stage a "die-in", where they will lay face down on the ground with their hands behind their backs. They have also built a coffin that will also be used symbolically during the protest. Aside from community leaders and ordinary citizens rallying around this issue, UC Berkeley's civil rights activist group BAMN (Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action, Integration
& Immigrant Rights, and Fight for Equality By Any Means Necessary) has also gotten involved in the "movement".

BAMN organizer and UCB alum Ronald Cruz writes,

This is an important first victory for the movement fighting for justice
for Oscar Grant. We can and must make sure that Mehserle and all the cops
who assisted are convicted and that killings like this never happen again
in Oakland. We must continue to stand strong and fight for our demands:

* Jail all the killer cops
* End the BART cover-up—Open a public investigation of the murder
* Disarm the BART Police—BART Police Out of Oakland
* Drop all charges against protesters

MARCH TODAY from Oakland City Hall to the District Attorney's office
Demand justice for Oscar Grant!

Until I am back on campus for my final semester at Cal... and history is made official with the swearing in of President-Elect Barack Obama. UCB is holding a public viewing of the inauguration on a large screen in front of Sproul Hall. I anticipate the plaza being full of excitement.


I am due in class at 10am, but me and my Obama gear will most likely be amongst the crowd. My first class is a "discussion section", which probably will not meet since no lecture will have taken place... and probably no Obama supporters will be present to discuss anything anyway. I am considering keeping Miss J out of class that day to revel in this event with me. There are so many of us who would have loved to be present in DC, but many factors just wont allow it. This will be the next best thing. On November 4th, Miss J was there with me holding a sample ballot, adorned in a "I Voted" sticker after the fact, so why not be there with me so that she can see first hand, the result of what being at the polls actual meant?

What are your inaugural plans?

13 days in and I think I have finally come up with a workable plan, list, collection of work in progress collection of lists that sum up the goals that I want to accomplish in 2009.

Instead of making that long list of "things I'd like to change" or "things I'd like to accomplish" or the dreadful "2009 resolutions", I decided that it would be more systematic to view my life in terms of specific areas, in order to determine the things that I'd most like to improve. Right now, the areas of priority in my life are:

- Academic
- Career/ Financial
- Personal
- Motherhood

As I looked at these areas I started obsessing a bit over all the ways that I felt I have been failing in these areas. Right off the bat I started condemning myself, when there was really no need. Life is a work in progress, and each year, month, week, day, hour, minute and even second that goes by, we are growing. You can't know exactly what needs improvement until you have lived a little and allowed yourself to experience and learn from those experiences. So, with that in mind, I chose to only set 5 goals for each area of my life. Why overwhelm myself when I know I am clearly not one of those people who should be overwhelmed? In fact, an overarching theme of my goals is to underwhelm myself throughout 2009 and hopefully this can be implemented into a concrete lifestyle change.

Here are the goals that I have set for the 4 areas of my life:

Academic
- Stay ahead of assignments: I have a huge problem with this. From everyday responsibilities and time restraints, an abundance of reading, to my ability to have to work at my own pace... I often find myself with materials that I never even get to. This has gotta change. I'm going to strive to stay ahead of the game by using my spare time and weekends more wisely where readings are concerned. Besides, if "ahead of schedule" IS the schedule there will be plenty of time left to rest my mind, instead of stressing it trying to cram information at the last minute.

-Keep Organized: Remember to take my well kept planner out of my bag when I get home!

- Attend professor office hours at least twice a month: Professors are required to be available to provide guidance, answer questions, etc. All I need to do is make sure I take advantage of this by keeping the lines of communication open at all times with my professors.

- Develop my writing: Spend some extra time (ie, blogging, free writing, journaling, etc) to just enjoy writing again period. I still see it as more work than fun, when it was always fun before.

- Complete my thesis: The down time is coming to an end and its time for me to put my thinking cap back on and get that draft done. Then the rest will be a peace of cake.

Career/Financial
- List my skills: I still have NO idea which direction I will be heading in May, but I do have various useful skills that should place me in a good place. The task is to group these skills to see if they lead in a specific direction or if the sky is just the limit for me.

- Find a job with a livable wage: Kind of a no brainer, but, its a must because its very expensive to live in the Bay Area. Money will be important when making my transition.

- No more credit card debt: Thankfully most of my cc debt has been paid and the rest can be paid off as soon as my financial aid refund hits my bank account!

- Budget, Budget, Budget: Should be simple since my current budget doesn't allow for senseless spending.

- Start an emergency fund: Gotta take Suze's advice on this one. Since finances will be changing, this should get off to a good start.

Personal
- Exercise everyday: Moving my body will help regulate my mood and keep both "the taupes" and the pounds off my ass.

- Healthy eating: I am on a quest to fall back in love with my long lost salads!

- Heal the pain of the past: This involves a lot of writing and detoxing of the mind.

- Rediscover myself: Its true, I still don't fully know who I am, but I am determined to find out.

- Make time for therapeutic writing: See how some of these goals overlap!

Motherhood
- Read to Miss J daily: Sadly, during the semesters, I read sooo much stuff that I get burnt out. Crazy, I know. One should never get tired of reading, right? Well, I do! Then Miss J suffers, with a never ending pushing of the bed time story to the "next night". Instead of saving reading for bedtime, we will move it to right before dinner or while dinner is cooking.

- Make special mother/daughter time: Yep, even with it being just the two of us sometimes this time does have to be scheduled. I am often submerged in school stuff and she is looking to get out of the house and over to granny's or aunt's or dad's or ANYBODY'S for the weekend. Scheduling specific days of the week or times of the day for just me and her will secure and build or relationship.

- Be more patient: This is number 1. Egg shells are all over this place. I'm working on it though. Miss J is already aware that her mother is crazy so she makes sure to give me a daily overdose of hugs, kisses, and "I love yous" to help me feel better.

- Work in playdates at least twice a month: We don't do much of these, and as Miss J builds deeper meaningful friendships, this has become very important to her.

- Put money into the savings account: It exists, but its usually empty. I am starting small with monthly contributions and then at some point I will switch over to a high yield account, like ING or something like that. I don't know if we will be paying for a couple years of college out of this account, but who knows where it could be in the next 13 years.


See, not as painful as it all looks. There are themes, and once a routine is put into place I'll be on a roll.

I know you are tired and want to retire,

BUT,

how could you forbid me from seeing Oprah?

Why are you denying me access to Suze?

You know that I only have 2 more days to download her book and you are over here playing games!




That's ok. Its cool. You may have won the battle for now, but you just wait and see. Your days are numbered Toshiba. Oh yeah. Your days are numbered!

As I shook my shimmy this morning I shook it right into a heated discussion on The View between the ladies and Ann Coulter, about the contents of her new book, Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America. The ladies of The View were particularly perplexed with Ann's views of multiracial people with African decent identifying with "their black side" more than any of their other heritage and the chapter that she has on single mothers, in which I am assuming from the discussion, that Ann feels are painted as victims by America and who are allowed to paint themselves as victims, when it is the single mother who is the one victimizing America with her band of illegitimate children, who just grow up to be criminals. Yeah. That was the flow of things in the studio and all mouths were going at the same time about one side or the other of this issue. Very interesting. To the point that I thought Ann might leave with a hand print on her face as she got real testy with Barbara. Take a look.



Single mothers as a troupe of immoral women sharing a state of false victimhood in America?

Interesting. Why do people continuously view lifestyles, and the world for that matter, as being totally universal? One America. One correct form of masculinity or femininity. One proper way to have or express sex and sexuality. One type of black (poverty stricken and a burden to society). One acceptable picture of motherhood. What works for one must indeed work for all. No variation allowed. Scales unheard of. Who said that all single motherhood is based on some form of victimization? And furthermore, since when is being a "victim" an immoral act in the first place? And exactly what kind of "victim" are we really talking about here? What makes a single mother a true victim? The sheer fact that she is single? So then should no single woman ever fathum the idea of bringing a child into the world if she has no plans of sharing her home with a man?

Single mothers producing criminals?

If we're going to look at who fills the jails then we must also look at race and certain laws that effect some races of people over others. I'm pretty sure that those living in NY would have no problem weighing in about the effects of the Rockefeller drug law on certain communities. To place a label, such as "criminal", on a child of a single parent is what will damage that child in the long run. Children are born into the world as clean slates and then we "write" them as they grow up in the world. Now, the messages written come from everyone and all things that come into contact with our children. If a child is bombarded with the message that, because they are from a single parent home, they will ultimately amount to nothing, it is then that the child and the parent have to work double time to redirect that message so that the child does thrive. Why is this pressure placed on the child and the parent just because they do not subscribe to the nuclear ideology of this society, which is not universal either?

Single mothers as being selfish for bring children into the world outside of the nuclear family?

What? Are you frickin' serious? To become a parent in any case (and giving birth to a child does not solely make one a parent) is the most selfless act that one could ever perform! Why the hell do people who don't even have children always feel the need to speak for those who do? Again, motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood IS NOT UNIVERSAL, and as we all should know, no matter how many books are written on the subject, kids don't come with instructions. Therefore, you can only be taught the basics, a rubric, of what parenthood is and will bring into your life and the lives of your children along the way. Its a "learn as you go" process. Even when you have a system that you think works for you and your family you find that as times change, and children grow, you will have to switch things up from time to time to "write" your children in ways that will lead them to be the very best that they can be AND to be able to clean up the bullshit when necessary.

Also, as wonderful as having a two parent home is, even this isn't universal. There are two parent homes of the same sex, two parent homes that might consist of mom, grandma and the kids. The possibilities are endless. My view is that biology does not make a parent a parent, it is love, support and guidance that make a parent a parent. These skills can be performed by anyone who has a child's best interest in mind... again, being one of the most selfless acts to ever be performed. I personally know women, and you may as well, who wanted to have children, but also wanted to wait for "the right man". Once they finally found the right man their biological clocks had stopped ticking. Women who are ready to be mothers, who have all of their ducks in a row, should consider thinking outside of the box.

What are your thoughts?

(note: I am considering getting a copy of Ann's book, FROM THE LIBRARY, to try to gain a deeper understanding of the bullshit her views)

As ambitious as I was about starting this year out on the good foot I have still managed to find myself here battling the taupes. Aside from my many other pressing problems, my PC is going down hill fast. Its slower, having to load and blow that loud ass fan more frequently, making me have to rethink and remember my thoughts as I wait... grrrr. I'm close to putting it out of its misery, just a couple more weeks for financial aid to roll around and it will be all good in the hood. I was prepared to sit here and rant and rave about it, until I fired up my bTunes. Keyshia made everything all better. I jumped up and my inner Tina took over. Shaking my shimmy, and everything else that shimmies, up and down the hallway. You shoulda seen me. I WAS Ms. Bar B Fierce! All I was missing was this dress.


In black of course. Truth is, I really do wanna be made over. I want the taupes to leave me alone, I wanna laugh in the face of the pass and say, "I made it." I want the healing process to begin already. Healing takes an amount of skill. It has to be organized and it doesn't happen over night. Its not just a simple process of forgive and forget, some real work has to be put in to get to a point in life where you really are able to move on. To live and let live. I'm ready to do the work and dancing is a great prelude.

Thank God its Friday!

This has been a heavy week. Time to unwind.

Let's get to it...


1. It's January; time for a transformation.

2. As always, ice cream is what I crave most right now.

3. Cork and wine go together like hard hats and heads.

4. Good conversation is so nourishing.

5. Let us dare to make peace.

6. Love radiates from my home.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to bed early so that I can hit the grocery store in the morning, tomorrow my plans include stocking the fridge and Sunday, I want to eat til' my heart is content!

To participate in Friday Fill-ins click --->here<---

Ever since Miss J was an infant I've felt like I've made a terrible mistake... in naming her. You see, I knew in my heart what she should be called when she was still in my womb. It was a no brainer. It was always my plan, that if I ever happened to have a daughter she would be named after my mother. My mother named me after her mother, and my grandmother was named after her grandmother, so why not keep it going by giving my daughter the name of the woman that I loved and lost. A way for her to exist outside my faded memories.

I shared the name with Miss J's dad and he wasn't impressed at all.

"Emma?", he said. "Naaaahhh, naaaahhh, that's.... country."

Why I didn't put up a fight I still don't know, to keep the peace possibly. I agreed to look at baby names with him online and wasn't happy with any of his choices and he wasn't happy with any of mine. Turns out, I wasn't the only one with a game plan for naming children, he had a system already in place. Before Miss J, he was already a father of two girls named Jelayne and Jamayah so his search for his third began and ended in the "Ja" prefix. He played around with first and middle names, compared meanings. Finally, it all came down to his "Jalia" and my "Jalen". Out done again, Jalia she became. He even picked her middle name, "Damali", which I didn't like, but agreed to because I fell in love with its meaning. Rooted in Arabic, it means beautiful vision, and that she most certainly was.

Although I accepted the name, I was never completely sold. Deep down I still wanted my Emma. I went as far as to go down to the court building and pick up the forms to do a legal name change. It wasn't successful due to the fact that I had no real idea of how to complete the thick ass packet and had a hard time finding someone to help. I figured it was all gonna be more trouble than it was worth and just chalked up the lost and stored the name away to await my next future arrival.

Fast forward to last week...

Jelayne has come down to visit.

Like clockwork, everyone keeps referring to her as Jalia. They both spend a lot of time reminding people of who they are. Their dad even does it! Reminds me of my great-grandmother, who always had to go down the whole list to get to the kid she was actually talking to. Romina...Sha... I mean, Ebo... Jean... ahh shit, you know who I'm talkin' to.

Miss J: I'm NOT Jelayne, I'm JALIA!

Me: Maybe you should change your name.

Miss J: Yeah, I know... Gosh. I know, what about Mia?

Me: Um... no, if you wanna change your name then it has to be Emma.

Miss J: Ah man.

Me: Emma or nothing at all.

Miss J: Ok, then I choose Emma.

The kiddies headed back to school on Monday and when I picked Miss J up from her after school program there were a sea of voices calling out behind us, "bye Ella". Once outside I asked, "why were they calling you Ella?" To which she replied, "because that's my new name." "No, not Ella, its Emma", I reminded her. "Oh, I thought it was Ella." Yesterday I looked through her backpack at the drawings that she did while at the after school program and found this one with "Ella" written at the top of the page. It appears that Miss Ella is running through the grass chasing a yellow rabbit.


So now she wants me to inform her teachers that she is no longer Jalia, but Emma. She has already informed all of her friends, and their mothers, as one asked me on the walk to school this morning if we had legally changed Jalia's name because she said her name was now Emma. Boy, she sure is taking this whole name change thing seriously.

Divine intervention?