Motherhood is turning out to be one of THEE coolest clubs ever. The coolest part? Its a lifetime membership.

When I found out that I was expecting, it really was a life changing experience. I was in my first semester of freshman year at UC Berkeley, not to mention, I had scholarships that I was putting to good use, and I was still learning how to share a dorm room with someone. I was in no way planning on becoming a mother all in the same breathe. In fact, I had it all planned out. I would go to college, become an investigative reporter, travel the world revealing the biggest conspiracies, while changing perceptions of inner city life, get married... and theeeeen have a baby. However, in a blink of an eye, that plan was but a dream, nine months had gone by, and I was welcoming a new member to Team Barbara. I found myself, 19, back at home, and a single mother. I couldn't help feeling like a "first generation black girl from the ghetto gets into one of the top Universities in the country only to get pregnant in her first semester and return back to the ghetto" statistic. Fortunately for me, my team was held together by some strong familial support, so I was able to take a break from Cal, regroup, and hit the academic track again with baby in tow.


By no means has it been easy or enjoyable or even pleasant 100% of the time. I have had to be creative, and develop skills that I didn't even know I was capable of possessing in order to navigate and combine the worlds of single mother and student. The two can be like oil and water on most days, and like PB&J on others. And there is always the task of negotiating the naysayers (the biggest one being myself). And what about the long list of sacrifices that I've had to make because I didn't have the privilege of being a parent of convenience? I've been having that conversation with myself, and others, for 7 years now, and still simultaneously, I get pissed off and amazed at my own strength and focus.


While I can and do bitch and moan about the struggles and hardships of being the captain of multiple ships, at the end of the day, it is in the arms of the child that I never planned to have, that I find the most comfort. It is in her words that I find the most honesty; it is in her infectious laughter that I start to remember who I use to be, way before I was told who I should be. So, yeah, to be a mother is a life changing experience on many different levels, and as much of a sacrifice as it brings with it, it also brings a multitude of uncharted waters and unexplored territory. I am looking forward to what the next 11 years and beyond bring us.

Written for the Spring Exhibition at UCSD: Exploring the "M" Word.
An Exhibition created, composed of and installed by ALL women

The virtual world is such an amazing place. Just the opportunities to meet new people every single day; the sharing of life experiences and lifestyles. Its an introvert's dream palace. Speaking of lifestyles, as you know, last year I made the decision to start rocking my natural hair. I've been having so much fun playing in it. Growing it and chopping it off again. The best part of living this new natural hair lifestyle is the community that comes with it. A community that I wasn't even aware existed before now. One of beauty, support and acceptance. Its awesome!

I recently met the beautiful Angie of naturallengths.com, on the natural hair social networking site Natural Sunshine, and she invited me to be featured on her blog. I was honored and I accepted. If you want to check me out, click here.

The wonderful Karen, a fellow natural Bay Area sistah, runs the website and blog, Naturally Beautiful Hair. She showcases the beauty of natural hair and handmade goods through photographs, artwork, and reviews. She also likes to feature the styles of her readers. I happen to rock a style that Karen found fierce enough to highlight on her blog, and for that I am delighted. It always makes me feel good when my short cut or my mini-afro is noticed in a positive way. As you all know, that isn't always the case when it comes to natural hair styles, so when I come across bloggers like Karen, I flock to them, trying to soak up all of their natural hair wisdom, and am eager to submerge myself within the community of the happily nappy.

So, if you are interested in checking out Karen and her beautiful artwork, hair photos, goods, and ME, click here, and explore.

Be sure to check out my new mini-post over at Moms of Hue. Feel free to join in on the conversation. Go on now. Don't be scuuurrd!

The weight in: Sister friends