Yay! Who doesn't love getting an award every now and then? This one came my way via my friend - my partner in crime - my sister, the equally beautiful Traci of Beauty in Rare Form, Babygirlz Magazine and M.O.C.A.E.D. (Mothers of Color Against Education Discrimination). Yeah, she's all kinds of awesome.

Its the Beautiful Blogger Award, and it was shared with me because of Notes to Emma. Traci said,

"I have seen this in movies - but only when a person thinks they are about to leave this earth. In Barbara's case, she just wanted to offer something to her daughter, to answer all her questions about life, about herself, about her mommy. Beautiful and very inspiring."

Thank you again for the beautiful words and the recognition. I'm sure that Emma will be delighted to know that her life and her history is award winning. Now its time for me to do some sharing. In my opinion, every single writer that I am following is a beautiful blogger! Since I stopped following the rules along time ago, I was tempted not to award 15 specific bloggers with this, because, you know, like I said, all of you are beautiful, BUT, I want to highlight a few of you for your awesomeness =).

So, here goes...

1. Miss Nico of Mama Bear - Single Mom Meets UC Berkeley
Aside from the fact that this beautiful woman has opened her home to me and my daughter, taking our Cal refugee selves in, she is just straight up brilliant! She has overcoming and is still overcoming, like so many of us, "clawing our way out of the gutter with no claws!" To hell with boots and boot straps, at this time, us Cal moms and former Cal moms are on a whole other level of survival, for ourselves and for our children. That in itself is a beautiful thing.

2. Mama C of Mama C and the Boys
Catherine is such a breathe of fresh air. She is a fellow single mama, raising two little handsome boys. And, did I mention that Mama C is mothering a beautifully blended family? She's white, with one black son and one biracial son, and is co-parenting them with her brother. The way that we choose, and are chosen in life, are amazing. Check her out to read about her unique perspectives and enlightening experiences.

3. Rue of Outdoor Afro
Calling attention to the lack of exposure of black folks in the outdoors, Rue turned her passion into a business, bringing awareness and inspiration. Just this past Sunday, she collaborated with a couple of organizations in an effort to get black bicyclers out on the roads and visable to other black folks in our communities. It was a beautiful success. Check her out for more information on blacks in the outdoors, and if you are a person of color (not just African American) who loves the outdoors and you would like to share your experience, she is always looking for features.

Alrighty. Run along and get to reading. And seriously, this award is for all of you, so feel free to accept, link back here, and if you want, share it with other beautiful bloggers. Just remember to let them know that you've awarded them.

By now, many of you have probably noticed that, when I leave you a comment on your blog, my name appears as Emma's Mom instead of Ms. Bar B. That's because I've started another blog, dedicated solely to Emma. And in case you are wondering who Emma is, you can find that out here. I'm still Ms. Bar B, but penning the posts for Emma, as Emma's Mom, just adds extra meaning.

I started a journal just for her a while back. I wanted to record all of her milestones, and tell her all of these things about myself, and her family. Every child has questions about themselves as they get older, questions about their history and yours, and the majority of the time, as parents, we are able to provide those answers. In my case, my mother passed away when I was eight years old, so I did not have the opportunity to ask her questions about her time with me when I was a baby, her feelings, her life experiences. I had to, and still have to, learn of these things from the fading memories of others, and even then, they are "her" feelings and life experiences as told by (fill in the blank). How cool would it have been if she had written me notes, or kept a journal? To have her story in her own words. It would have been priceless to me now. Fortunately, this is something that I am able to do for my daughter. Aside from this being a creative way for me to speak to my child, it also provides the space for difficult conversations. Contrary to what some may believe about the level of truth that a parent should reveal to a child, I believe that honesty really is the best policy, especially when it comes to history and circumstance, and I wish to be fully honest with my daughter.

This isn't a new concept. Some of you may already write letters or record memories for your children. Tara, of The Young Mommy Life, shares letters to her children on her blog, and has plans of publishing them one day, and the late Professor Randy Pausch turned his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University into a book of legacy for the two children that he was leaving behind. The ability to leave your mark in such a way is one of the greatest gifts a child, or any loved one for that matter, could have.

So came Notes to Emma. I hope that you will check it out. It has already begun to inspire. Don't be shy, be inspired too.

I am super proud of myself! I went out of my comfort zone and did something completely different with Miss J's hair. I have been wanting to put it back in twists, but that would require us to shampoo it, and I have had too much anxiety lately for us to do our wash routine. Its coming though... the lint balls tell me so. Anyhoo... I was looking at Joyful Mom's latest Hair Day post over at Happy Girl Hair, and loved the styles that she did on her Little R and Little B, as always. Then I noticed, what looked like, a post featuring a veil style so I clicked on it. It was indeed a veil style... two veil styles, on Little R and Little B. I think the style is so cute and intricate. Anything that doesn't require simple parts or simple plaits is intricate to me. Without thinking twice, I propped the laptop up, got out all the beauty supplies and called Miss J upstairs for some hair time. She is always open to different styles, but the process of getting there almost always includes tears, and requests for breaks. We made it through though with huge smiles at the end.

Her hair was already in some nice sections so I just tried to pay close attention to where I was suppose to be connecting the braids that were coming from the sections. I got it!

And look!! I even put beads on the end! Never done that one before either. I've always let my sister in-law handle the french braids and the beads (those aren't french braids by the way, they are criss-cross ponytails... or... kinda... just see Joyful Mom's pictures in her post and you'll see what I'm talking about). I am so proud of myself for stepping outside the box. Miss J loves it too. But then, she always loves the outcome of the styles that we try, so I will be looking forward to stepping outside the box more often.

Have you tried any "outta the box" hairstyles lately?

Well, I got my first written response from the state. So, far, I think I have sent out 4 or 5 applications to various locations that have vacancies for the position that I tested for. Unfortunately, this particular location did not offer me an interview. I'm not too bent out of shape about it, perhaps because there are still locations that I am waiting to hear from. The way that the ranking system works is tricky, with some locations seeking the best of the best, meaning, they are only looking for folks who rank in the top 3. That wasn't me this time. We'll see what happens...

Seems like my life has been revolving around job search. Its really depressing. To sit around with nothing to do, in someone else's space - I have been bored out of my damn mind, and when I'm not bored, I'm depressed, and when I'm not depressed, I'm irritable - which is a symptom of depression - so, I guess I'm basically just frickin' bored and depressed the majority of the time. I did get out of the house Friday night to have a couple of drinks and some adult time with the mamas.

Its always nice to be in great company, and my UCB family is always great company. But now the weekend is over, and its back to focusing on trying to make things better.

I have been completely neglecting my business, but hopefully I will feel more like engaging in some yarn play soon. I am finishing up a pretty pink and white blanket that I am hoping to add to the shop by next week. Then maybe I can get started on the lavendar and white blanket, and maybe it will be the correct size when I am done! The pink and white blanket is less baby and more preschooler. I must have been crocheting with a tired hand. Its still a beautiful creation. I will show you all once I have some pictures.

How was your weekend? What's new?