Monday I participated in my first real school activity with Miss J. I, along with six other mommies and daddy, headed down to the local pumpkin patch with 21 over excited, busy bodied five year olds. The multi-block walk wasn't too painful. There was a pretty good child to parent ratio, hands were being held and Halloween decorations, familiar local shops and pretty flowers were being pointed out. I had to grab the hands of a couple of boys because one of the other moms couldn't figure out the secret to stopping them from rough housing and slowing down the line. But, other than that, everyone made it in one piece.

After the man in charge of the patch laid down the rules, the kids were set free to scower the land and choose their $1 pumpkins. Miss J. is pictured above holding her favorite pick. She insists that we carve it. I have never carved a pumpkin before and that was my 1st time inside of a pumpkin patch. I don't do pumpkins. Not jack-o-lanterns or pumpkin pie. Now give me a sweet potato and I can mess with that bad boy. Perhaps I can send this little guy on down to Jen and her family and they can make us a masterpiece.


As usual, Miss J. was the one to find the red wagons stashed in the corner. She decided to put this one to good use.




Surrounded by pumpkins of various sizes, we all sat down for a grapes and juice box lunch and sang Halloween favorites... Kindergarten Halloween favorites of course. Then it was time to head back. Everyone lined up for a class picture and then the journey began.

Unlike the walk down to the pumpkin patch, the walk back was horrific. Filled with uncontrollable bodies that couldn't walk a straight line or hold a hand that was not that of a parent to save their little lives. I don't know what happened. Were the pumpkins cursed? Did the teacher lace the grapes, did she spike the juice boxes? Whatever happened caused us to take twice as long to get back than it did to get there... or at least it seemed like it did. Some kids had misbehaving shoe strings (Miss J. included) and others had trouble not falling flat on their chubby little faces (Miss J.'s friend included).

Once we were all safely back on school grounds I kissed Miss J. and got the hell out of there as fast as my tired legs would carry me. As I said in my last post, I don't know how teachers do it. What? I didn't say that in the last post? Ok, well, I'm saying it right here and right now. I don't know how they do it. All of those different personalities working at the same time. My goodness! At even the faintest perce of the teachers voice their attention is front and center, erasing any evidence of field trip mishaps. Perfect little monsters children once again.

I am happy to report that Kindergarten is going quite lovely for Miss J. I really didn't expect it to go any other way since she has been in complete love with learning ever since her little hands started grasping at the world. She has never wanted to miss a day of adventure and she takes every opportunity to share her newly acquired knowledge with me. She even likes to test me, giving me pop trivial on our walks home or while watching one of her favorite shows. I laugh each time she is lost in an episode of Nickelodeon's Guts, oblivious to the fact that these are the same episodes that I watched as a child.

What I find most amusing about the whole Kindergarten experience though, is the teachers. Miss J. has two wonderfully experienced teachers who take pride in helping children reach their milestones. They are extremely patient and sensitive to each child's needs. They know just the right things to say, in those infamous Kindergarten teacher voices, to dry up tears and solve disputes. They use those voices on parents. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you someday will if you have little ones running around. This voice doesn't solely belong to Kindergarten teachers, but I think it definitely originates in those who start out teaching the littlest populations. I first met this voice in my own elementary days. Its very breathy, makes sure to pronounce every syllable, contains a gasp in each sentence and is delivered by a woman who is all smiles and wide eyes.

I honor all teachers because at the end of the day, whether we find them to be good or bad, they are putting in under paid hours, within sometimes highly stressful circumstances, all because at some point in their lives they made the decision to lend themselves to a community who needed them. Miss J.'s teachers followed through on that decision and they deliver something very special. To be a part of this environment is truly a blessing.

I have been thinking about getting one of these for Miss J. As sweet and helpful as she is at school, she'd rather pull her own hair out than pick things up here at home. I once told her that if she didn't clean her room that I would throw all of her toys away. Now, this kind of talk usually works on all kids at some point. They collect items that have some type of meaning to them over the days/weeks/months/years and would likely be sad to see most things go. I thought this would always be the reaction of Miss J. when threatened, but she has proved to be one tough cookie that does not easily crumble... not even for big and bad little old me. Her simple reply was, "ok, you can throw them away". She was more than a little shocked to arrive home one day missing over half of the items she refused to take care of.

Perhaps she thinks that she doesn't have to devote much time to cleaning because I don't? On any given day it would not be hard to find laundry that has not been put away, dishes that have not been washed and floors that have not been mopped in my home. Not that we run a dirty operation over here, just an unconventional one. Like the magnet on my sister in-law's fridge says, "Boring Women Have Emaculent Homes", and I am sorry to say that no boring women live in this camp, only an extremely busy one. If only I had been blessed with the kind of OCD that makes you wanna rip someone's head off if every label in the cabnet isn't facing the front instead of funky old depression and anxiety, I could keep things in order around here. Ahh well, gotta work with what you've got, right?

Yes, I know. If I make the decision to incorporate a rewards chart into Miss J.'s life, I will have to also make one up for myself. See, I'm not in denial. Unlike a "to-do" list or daily planner (both of which experience the ink of my pen regularly), a rewards chart never leaves the fridge or special place that has been designated for it. It doesn't get left in a purse or backpack, its duties and incentives are constantly there, staring at you, awaiting completion and retrieval. So, I am still seriously thinking on this one, baking up all kinds of possible rewards for myself. I am still trying to decide if getting a maid service all up and through here is considered a reward or a chore... Huuuuuummm?

Do any of you have any organization challenges in your life right now? There has to be something. Tell me I'm not alone, or if I am, at least tell me that you are willing to hop on the next thing smoking and come give me a hand!

What are your favorite forms of orange?

It came out yesterday during the Good Morning song, or so I was told on the walk home from school. I will have to remind myself to collect the little jewel from her teacher on Monday, as I was also told that it would be available upon our next arrival to school. The two day wait shouldn't be so bad since Miss J. didn't even remember loosing the tooth, only remembered that her month was bleeding. I had to start in with the 50 questions to make sure that at least one of us knew where the thing was. I am not the best tooth keeper. I somehow lost her first two baby teeth... its a good thing she had some replacements!

[edit: It turns out that there is NO tooth. I decided to ask the teacher today for the tooth and she was completely out of the loop. She had no idea that Miss J. had even lost a tooth. I guess the tooth fairy will remain rich until she loses the two top teeth that are schedule to come out next.]

To participate in Friday Fill-Ins click here.

1. Right now, I'm feeling tired and worn out.
2. Surrounded by people who have gathered to pamper me is where I want to be.
3. How does one do EVERYTHING within a 16 hr window?
4. Sometimes, keeping a tight "to-do" list keeps me on track.
5. Please don't keep telling me what to do.
6. Music that I can groove to always fills me with joy.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the possibility of a night out on the town with my bff, tomorrow my plans include staring at my computer for hours blogging writing a paper and Sunday, I want to just stare at the wall without interruption!

Meet the woman who raised me. The woman who taught me the meaning of both sacrifice and unconditional love. The woman who was the rock that kept our family grounded and the glue that kept it together. The woman who was known to all, as Bigmama, but who was known to me, simply as mama. Meet my great-grandmother, Exie Bea.

She was an amazing woman, fearless... a pillar of strength and unconditional love. She gave to those who were in need and mothered those who didn't have. She taught me some of life's most valuable lessons. How to master self sacrifice in the name of love, to show bravery in times of fear, and the most valuable of all, to never sit idly by wait for a man or anyone else to take care of you. "You have to know how to do for self cuz I wont always be with you", she'd say.

She died October 23rd, 2005. At a time when the country was trying to wrap their heads around the tragedy that was Katrina, I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I had just became motherless all over again. Witnessing the destruction of lung cancer was a traumatic experience for me. I just couldn't believe that a woman who was once so strong was suddenly disappearing before my eyes. Her body was there, but her mind was absent at times. And then went her soul. I thought I would never recover... but I did.

Now, I keep her life and everything that she taught me, tucked away tightly in my heart and in my memory. I take the time to remember her today, I'll remember her always.

AC Transit or Alameda-Contra Costa Transit, is the public bus service provider for two counties in the Bay Area. We also have BART, which is our metro system, better known as Bay Area Rapid Transit. These forms of public transportation come in handy for those of us looking for ways around high gas prices, gridlocked traffic and overpriced and limited city parking. I am a regular day to day rider of the bus line pictured above as I go to and from the UC Berkeley campus. With a heavy flow of pedestrians, environmentally conscious cyclists and paid parking, AC Transit or a combination of bus and BART is the best bet for the on-the-go student who has to commute.

This morning's hustle to the bus stop was not unlike the majority of mornings. A brisk walk headed away from Miss J.'s school to catch a bus that has just turned the corner, or sometimes a full on sprint across courtyards, backpack further wearing down already tired back muscles to ensure a seat on a bus that has just zoomed by as I walked out the front door. Which ever events lead me to be on board, the ride is always the same. 25 minutes of the iPod stuck in my ears, the mind preparing itself to receive knowledge and/or an article on my propped up legs that is in intense conversation with my highlighter.

For some reason, this particular morning just had to be the one where we got the lunatic driver. Now, to some degree, all bus drivers, or at least AC Transit drivers have that lunatic gene that rears its ugly head when their day has been about 30 minutes too long, or they have been asked one too many times if they go down Shattuck Avenue or to the BART station and have to explain to a student in distress that they should be catching the 51 instead of the 52L. I can't say that I can accurately pinpoint what the deal was with the woman behind the wheel this morning, but she was headed toward having a whole bus load of folks on her ass.

As soon as the bus doors opened she was yelling at everyone to have their passes out and ready before boarding the bus. Ok, I can do that. I always do that anyway. Let's see, bus pass in hand, quick flash to the driver, find a seat and settle in. Rewind. No! Take it all the way out of the holder, I need to see it! Excuse me! Replay. Start to get hot under the collar wondering what this lady's problem is, take a seat, press play on my iPod. I mean, can't she see? Everyone's pass looks the same, if you see one that is different then you'll know that its out of date.

She proceeded to drill everyone who boarded the bus and then turned the engine off without warning and sat in silence for about 5-10 minutes. Finally someone asked her if there was a problem. Her reply: Yes. "Ok, driver, what is the problem?" Her reply: Ya'll need to tell your friends or anyone you know that you can not board the bus with a counterfeit pass. My job is to take you to your destination and I will do that, but only when I have collected all of the fares. While we all sit dumbfounded, trying to 1st figure out who would even do such a thing when every student has a pass, and then trying to figure out how many lose screws this heffa has and which of us should go up to her and tighten them.

After calling an AC Transit authority to come out to the bus, about 15-20 minutes had gone by. The next bus to the University was approaching and everyone exited the lunie bin and hitched a ride on the straight-to-campus-minus-all-the-bullshit express. In the end, students who were made late to classes by the whole ordeal were given no apology, just a flat toned "go ahead and board, go ahead and board, have a nice day" from the Mr. AC Transit Authority. When confronted about the behavior of his colleague, the response came in that same flat tone, "thank you for your patience, have a nice day".


Dear Mr. AC Transit Authority and Ms. Lunatic Driver,

Have a nice day? That's easy for you to say. You are not the one who has just spent the last 25 minutes putting up with bullshit. You are not the one who had to rise from a perfectly comfortable seat, only to have to stand for 25 minutes on a different, now overcrowded bus. To ensure that this is not a repeat occurrence please do one or all of the following:

• Put that cow on another route.
• Get her on some medication.
• Get her some glasses.

Signed:

Ms. Likely to push Ms. Lunatic Drive down the next time I catch her outside that bus!

aka

The wonderful Jewelry Rockstar has officially deemed A Place of Comfort as being "down for the people." She did so by honoring me with this lovely award...YAY!

This award means a lot to me because when you are honored for "keeping it all the way real" which is basically what being "down for the people" means, that's huge. I think that is something that we all strive for, to be our true selves, to let it all hang out before those who choose to drop in on us and experience our world. To be "real" or "down" is an act of courage because you never know how your life will be received by others. And just for the record, I think that every blogger who puts themselves, their family, their goals, dreams and aspirations out freely into this virtual community should be a recipient of this award.

Although I just bestowed this award on all of you, there are a few folks that I enjoy and who definitely keeps it all the way real that I want to pass this onto specifically.

To participate in Friday Fill-ins click here.

1. Follow the street on out yonder, till ya get to the fork in the road.

2. A cute pair of shades is something I always take with me on vacation.

3. To achieve your goals, you must put yourself and your needs first.

4. My fear of heights is something I'd like you to know about me.

5. I have a huge problem with procrastination... its a student parent thing.

6. When I think of childhood, I think of Rootbeer floats.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to staying up for a bit to track down some primary sources for my thesis, tomorrow my plans include introducing my house to a little spick and span and Sunday, I want to lay in bed and watch some scary movies!

*WARNING* The following video may cause uncontrollable laughter, headache followed by tired jaw muscles and the urge to forward and/or re-watch repeatedly.

You are gonna wanna click the pause button on the bTunes for this one.

I am supposed to be actively engaged in completing a 5 page critical review, code for midterm, which was officially due an hour and 49 minutes ago. The very fact that I am here, and not over at MS Word, is proof that I am highly unfocused at the moment. My mind seems to be everywhere but where its supposed to be. Too easily fixed on environmental sights and sounds, and internal ramblings. A full sized bed calling my body to retired and make an attempt to restart the day again.

I sit here surrounded by a thick reader, notebook, loose leaflets that possess the beginnings of an outline, The Craft of Writing for proper MLA format, maintenance crew manicuring hedges outside my window, duck feet...

These would be the duck feet, just in case you were wondering. Known in the land of China as Squeaky Shoes. Although I can't deny the level of cuteness these little things occupy, I wish I could eliminate the level of annoyance generated by the everlasting squeak squeak squeak! of little feet prancing back and forth in front of my door. Its like being in a nursery of distressed ducklings. Definitely not that feeling of feng shui that nature usually provides. I wonder how long it would take sister in-law V to make an attempt on my life if I ordered some of these for Thing 1 and Thing 2





And then of course there is the constant frustration of trying to unlock the mystery that is Joe the Plummer. I mean, is he related to Joe Six Pack? And what exactly is so "six pack" about Joe? Does he have a drinking addiction? A fitness addiction? This just might remain a mystery.



My mind's ramblings are endless. I am going to use this time between loosing all since of direction and Miss J coming home from the after-school program, to recenter myself. All hope is not lost for getting this assignment completed and emailed in today. I just need to regroup. Take a breather. Clear my mind and as Tim Gunn says, "make it work".

Thanks to Lindsey of Mommy Chronicles, I can proudly say that this is now A Place of Comfort. I have followed in the footsteps of some of my favorite blogs, such as Cutie Booty Cakes, and treated my space to a full makeover. I thank Lindsey so much for her beautiful creativity and I would encourage anyone who is thinking of jazzing up there blog to consider her work. Just click on the picture below to pay her a visit.

This picture is certainly worth a thousand words to me right now. Ever since I got the text from Miss J.'s dad, informing me that he would not be able to perform his recently instated duty of picking her up from her after-school program today, my head has been pounding. This makes two days in a row that I had to miss my Swahili lecture due to being "mommy on call"...cue my superhero music. Lord only knows what the mwalimu [teacher] has been cooking up in my absence. Hopefully I will not walk in there on Thursday to some surprise quiz. Although it would be very smart to send him an email letting him know that I am still alive, I can only think straight enough to type here, and to read blogs (which is probably why my frickin' head is still pounding after 2 Excedrine). At least the pain that was running up and down my left arm and throughout my hand is gone. Mrs. T. Allen Mercado, oh how I wish I had one or two of your happy pills right now!

I am hoping to not have a debilitated brain tomorrow since I will need all of its power to crank out my first midterm of the semester. Speaking of semesters, my very last one is quickly approaching. I am almost upon the moment where all of my sacrifice will pay off. Hot damn! I can almost see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Assuming of course that there will actually be jobs that pay a livable wage available in May. With the topsy turvy nature of our economy and its ability to pull the whole damn world down with it, who knows. What I do know, is that I can't subject my eyes to the illuminasity of my computer screen not a minute longer,

so...

Nighty night for now.

Diva Ma, over at Diva Ma-Mommy Fabulous thought it would be a great idea to pull me into her game of tag. Now she has me chasing my thoughts all over the place trying to find 7 random things about myself to share with you. Don't get to comfortable because you could be next, so you better start warming up just in case.

So...

1. I have been to over 20 children birthday parties this year! I don't know what happened in previous years, but for some reason, this year, each and every single child in Miss J.'s class had a birthday party where every single child was invited to celebrate. When they roll around I feel bad if I don't go because these are Miss J.'s friends, I want to show my support and of course we want folks to show up when her birthday rolls around. Guess what? I am so over that crap. I don't think I can attend another frickin' birthday party this year, although I have RSVP'd for 2 more this month. Help me Jesus!!

2. I have been in school for the majority of my life. Elementary, junior high, high school and then straight to collage with no real vacations in between. Not even a decent full time job in between. This has got to stop. Every time someone asks me about Grad school I feel like choking them to death. Grad school?? Right now?? You mean, right after I graduate?? Are you crazy?? I'll tell you just what I tell them... check with me in another two years and maybe I'll be ready to get started on those applications.

3. I am rapidly becoming addicted to blogging. I have been doing good with devoting blogging time for myself, but I have began to place it above more important obligations. Yes, I am an important obligation... taking the time to jot down my thoughts and happenings and sharing them with you, and that's not really what the problem is. My confession: I spend waaaayyy more time reading blogs than I do reading articles for my class or research material for my thesis. I gotta get it together. Perhaps set aside a time slot just for reading blogs, that happens to be much smaller than the one allotted for reading school assignments.

4. I am in love with the Food Network channel. I love trying new yummy recipes out on my family for the holidays. They have never walked away disappointed.

5. I am an experienced exterior painter. I painted houses for 3 summers as part of a youth summer employment program through Chevron Texaco. Their refinery had been polluting our neighborhood forever, so the least they could do is provide us kids with some jobs, right? It was the best paying job that the summer program offered too and I always got my spot. Even got the bff in on the action. Maybe due to the fact that my uncle works for Chevron or maybe not, I ain't telling. I made some life long friends through that experience all while doing a great service to my community.

6. I can't swim. I have tried to learn but I have a little problem with giving up control. Because of this, I can't even float. That is truly pathetic, but hey, I can't help it. I get scuuurd.

7. I am sooo not a people person. Surprised? Me too sometimes. Its not that I hate people. Well.... maybe I should say, its not that I'm not friendly and an overall great person, I just get annoyed easily... and I like comfort zones. In certain situations certain people just get on my damn nerves and I have to keep my distance. And then there are those moments when EVERYBODY gets on my damn nerves. Don't worry though, you guys never get on my damn nerves. Promise!

Whew! I'm tired from all of that chasing. I did it though and now its time for the following folks to report to the field and get your butts off the side lines. You should all be warmed up by now. Listen up for your name:

To participate in Friday Fill-Ins click here.

1. One of the best concerts/plays/movies I ever saw that I really didn't think I'd like was the movie Snakes on a Plane. It wasn't the best movie (meaning its not one of my all time favorites) but it did surprise me. Originally, I wasn't interested in seeing it because I thought the concept of snakes being on a plane was just dumb and I absolute HATE snakes. However, when I watched it I ended up enjoying it more than I thought I would.

2. Banana Pudding is a recipe I recently made (or meal I recently ordered) that was delicious!

3. It's time for me to really start thinking about where I'd like to relocate to.

4. I've found that a Jamba Juice smoothie on any day is quite refreshing.

5. If I never hear the word "soccer" paired with the word "mom" again, it'll be too soon.

6. To one side of the curving road was a woman, and on the other was her destiny.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going straight to bed because its been a long week, tomorrow my plans include spending some time with my thesis since I have been running away from it and Sunday, I want to let Miss J. have a little fun at a friend's birthday party!

You know it's Fall when...

• Every doorstep has a pumpkin on it.
• Colorful leaves blanket your car and your front lawn.
• Either your child or someone else's is engaged in a combination of coughing and sneezing.

Last night I heard the beginnings of a cold rattling around in Miss J.'s chest. I've been trying to convince myself that she is immune to the bug that many of her friends have been harvesting, although her constant coughing and stuffy nose tell me differently. Each year during cold/flu season she gets all weezy and I have to elevate her head at night and crank up the humidifier. Last night Miss J. sounded like she had a whistle stuck in her throat, so I ran for the secret stash of Albuterol, only to discover that it was old as dirt. Since she doesn't have full blown asthma, we don't have to use it on a regular basis so it usually stays on top of the fridge waiting for an emergency. I had to get creative, so I encouraged Miss J. to cough strongly every 15 minutes, followed by a drink of water to try to help clear things up. Of course this didn't work AT ALL, but I have to give myself an A for effort, considering the fact that a trip to emergency for an asthma treatment wasn't written anywhere on my internal "in case shit gets bad" list. I always have some kind of backup plan for all of those "just in case" moments.

Today I cut my first class short to catch Kaiser's last available appointment of the day. The advice nurse wanted me to have Miss J. looked over before they issued a prescription for more Albuterol. After listening to her lungs, the doctor determined that there was indeed a lot going on in there and had the nurse to come in and hook her up to the nebulizer.

Seeing the mist escape from the sides of the mask instantly reminded me of that one scene from the movie Little Shop of Horrors, you know the one where Steve Martin's character puts on his laughing gas pack and laughs himself to death. I tried to contain my laughter, especially after the nurse looked at me like I was crazy. But whatever. The mask + the look of nirvana in Miss J.'s eyes was funny as hell to me. After 3 minutes of treatment the doctor came back in to take a second listen and things had cleared up a bit, but not enough for him to send us home without 2 asthma medications. Pretty good for someone who doesn't have asthma huh? Don't worry, her drug use is completely legitimate, remember I told you that she gets all weezy each cold/flu season? So now, for the next two weeks she'll have to take 2 hits of Qvar each day and we have replenished our stash of Albuterol in case things get crazy after the Qvar is gone. We also left the hospital with some cream for her eczema, which also seems to bother her just once a year during the hot summer weather. She's not having any issues right now, but we're all stocked up... you know, just in case.