Seven days later and the words are finally starting to flow. Geez, me and deadlines, its an evil match. Me and my brain are sooo not friends right now, but don't tell it I said that, I woudn't want it to take these so needed thoughts on analyzing the work of Jennie Livingston and Marlon Riggs away from me. Not at this vital hour! Not when the end of this God awful semester is so near.

Next up: The gendered toys of Macdonald's Happy Meals, some words on street kids in India and little black boys in inner city public schools, and the ways in which black erotica works against the silencing of black female sexuality... oh, and 2.5 weeks to be fruitful. Let the games begin!

I am really gonna have to stop putting off getting an eye exam. I haven't made the time for one and my eyes are not happy with me at all. My vision is blurred right now, and I am creeping into that group of people who shouldn't be doing any night driving. I think its all the result of how much time I have been spending with my computer. Since getting the Mac, it goes with me everywhere and its not uncommon for me to be peering into it all day long. Its 2:35am and here I am, peering into it, having to look away ever so often to let me eyes readjust before looking back at the screen. Just pitiful.

In the age of contacts, I am actually looking forward to wearing glasses. I used to wear glasses when I was younger, or should I say, I was prescribed glasses when I was younger. I would never wear them in public because I always had to settle for the "poor people frames". In case you are not familiar, they are the ones that are designated for people who have vision coverage through state programs, such as Medi-cal. They are not cute at all! I had enough markers of my socioeconomic status growing up, I didn't need those frames to be the icing on the cake. By the time I could afford frames that I preferred, I no longer considered myself someone who needed to wear glasses. But now, there is no denying it.

Now I have my heart set on some readers. I think they look hot with all stages and styles of natural hair.

I've been in my own little world lately. Busy trying to organize these last papers in my head, while simultaneously trying to keep my sanity. These last couple of weeks, I've kinda been at a disconnect with school stuff, as the "real world" and life's challenges are a lot more important. I'm on a quest for clarity. Over the holidays, I took some time to finish a blanket that I had been working on for a while for Miss J. She was very pleased with the final result.


I started a new blanket last night. A little yellow and white number that hopefully will make a mother and her baby very happy. I have plans on finishing it this weekend. Crocheting brings such a tranquil feeling, and with 43 more pages of writing to do, I need all the tranquility that I can get.

That's what students were met with, and felt, as they stood up for public education.

As the occupation of Wheeler Hall took place, the Chancellor not only called in the UCPD, but he also felt the need to call in city law enforcement, who arrived in riot gear, obviously ready to do battle. They agitated the hundreds of supporters outside the building, and began pushing them, poking them, and beating them with their batons, all while our Chancellor sent out emails throughout the day saying how the safety of the students was a priority. There are reports that a woman's hand was broken by a police baton, and there are others with bruises from the rubber bullets. The ecalation was a real surprise and shock. We had already had two days of peaceful protest and were rounding up the campaign against the fee hike with a third. We had seen the beatings and pepper spraying of UCLA students and were happy that it wasn't happening on our campus... and then suddenly, it was.

Thankfully, none of our moms or babies were hurt, as we had received word of the police presence and planned accordingly. But, we were still there!


On the front lines! Arms linked, and not taking no shit, because, we don't set foot on campus everyday just for ourselves, but for our children and families. They can't just request $2,500 more from us and expect us to hand it over willingly. I can happy that I will not be returning next semester for various reasons, however, saddened for what this means for those who will be returning or just entering (and those "just entering" will be few).

Take a look at the short videos below to have a first hand look at just how much of a priority the safety of UC Berkeley's students were on Friday.

We stood in solidarity this week, and were semi-defeated with the approval of the proposed 32% fee hike to tuition within the UC system. So, that means that $2,500 will be tacked onto the already $4,176 - $4, 874 (depending if you have opted to be covered under the University's health insurance plan) next semester, bringing tuition costs to $6,676 - $7,374 for Spring 2010. This is detrimental to students who are already struggling to pay for their education, and it is devastating for certain campus communities, such as students of color and student-parents. Although the Regents say that low-income students will be shielded from this hike, we are having a hard time trusting that. The fact that the University is laying workers and faculty off left and right, closing child care centers, imposing new regulations and eliminating vital resources, DOES NOT provide any ease. We all fear that this is the beginning of the "death of public education".


We have been reminded by fellow students that this decision to approve the fee hike was not solely the decision of the UC Regents, but more of a snowball effect of our dry state. California's budget crisis has not improved and people are still feeling the sting of frigged air from being left out in the cold for what is starting to feel like forever. Whatever the reasons, we simply CAN NOT afford to dish out more money, and we are being told that neither can the financial systems that have been in place to aid us. So, then what? What happens to the student who has invested so much, but can not afford to continue on the journey? What happens to high schoolers who may not be able to get fully funded? How will the University, particularly, UC Berkeley, maintain its status as one of the most prestigious schools in the country if it has to shut out thousands of hopeful applicants? There will surely be some interesting times ahead as things continue to unfold.


The movement to stand up, fight for what is right, and be heard, will press on today, as students have organized themselves for another day of protesting. There is still a great belief in the power of a mass and collectivity. The hope is that the University will see that the students they serve "ARE the University and they have the power to shut it down". No business as usual for many, even as the semester is ending and finals are being thought up, students still have justice on the brain. I can't predict an outcome, but I can show my support by participating in the movement as I have been while I am still officially on campus, and show my solidarity to my UC Berkeley community once I move on.

Click here to read the story of my friend, and UC Berkeley single dad, Ramon Quintero, as he bussed down to LA with other UCB students for the UC Regents meeting. He is an inspiration and he couldn't have made his Cal student-parent community more proud!

(Note: "We are the University and we have the power to shut it down"... its ringing true, if only for today, as UCB strikers have succeeded in shutting down one of the buildings on campus in massive protest. The same is in progress at UC Davis.)

Ya know, its really hard to blog about being bored out of your mind.

Boredom is at an all time high today. I don't even think its because I don't have things to do, but because I don't have any immediate things to do. No articles to read for class, no conversations to engage in at the moment, and no papers to write... well, none were on today's to-do list. Today's paper deadline was extended to next Tuesday, so now there is a little bit of freedom to take more time with it instead of doing the rush job I had planned on doing yesterday.

This NaBloPoMo is no joke. I might not make it, hehe.

The start of a brand new week brings with it memories of a full weekend, and consequences of letting loose and having a little too much fun. In my world, the concept of "too much fun" rarely exists, but considering the fact that I have a paper due tomorrow, that I have yet to start... yes, too much fun over the weekend. But then again, when you are a student, any time that you aren't reading or writing something you're having too much fun, so...

Anyway... today, I will be buckling down into some analysis and churning out a 5 page paper. I also have my first parent/teacher conference with Miss J's teacher this school year. I don't really know what to expect during this visit. I would like to hear all good things, but its been a semi-rough half of 1st grade. I've gotten a couple of notes sent home that have resulted in some lengthy emails between her teacher and I. One of which, I had to explain to her teacher why its not a good idea to refer to my kid as "violent" just because she and a classmate had a physical altercation. Miss J is no angel, but she's not intentionally hateful to other children either. For me, "violence" not only implies intent, but it also implies that physical altercations have been a regular occurrence, which hasn't been the case. She actually tried to psychoanalyze Miss J because she told her that she plays video games with a friend. I proudly wrote her ass an essay with a counter argument and she realized that perhaps "violent" really wasn't an appropriate term, and that perhaps she did jump to conclusions about Miss J being corrupted by "violent" video games. Sigh... the joys of making sure that your children don't fall victim to being tracked in a bad way during those vital years in school.

Geez, the day is cut out for me, and its only Monday. What's on your agenda?

So, I know I said that I wanted to try out some baby locs on my hair. Since then, I've gotten a haircut, and let it grow again. I'm so indecisive when it comes to hair. Its hard not to be when there are so many fun things that can be done with it. Today, I stood in front of the mirror running my fingers through my curls, trying to decide if I wanted to part with them once again. Wildboy and I had talked about doing a mohawk the next time I came to see him and I was a little apprehensive. Again, this is the usual. I always am when considering something new. I pushed all of that to the side this morning and just let Wildboy do his thang.


What do you think of my frohawk? You know we always have to put a spin on things. I'm glad I wasn't too chicken to try it out because I'm completely in love. Its fun, its funky, and its wearable. And I will be wearing out tonight when I hit the country bar with the Cal mommies. Yes, I am going to get my line dance on, punk rock style.

1. The last band I saw live was the one providing the sounds for Jamie Foxx as he rocked the stage.

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is spending time with my grandparents and the sweet smells of potato pie.

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is going to be very light this year.

4. Thoughts of where in life I would like to be fill my head.

5. I wish I could wear my size 9 jeans again.

6. Bagpipes are interesting and powerful.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to joining a few friends for some drinks and some line dancing, tomorrow my plans include getting a start on a paper I have due next week and Sunday, I want to hopefully enjoy a movie date with my Kipenzi!

To participate in Friday Fill-Ins, click --->

For this to be such a place of comfort, I'm not feeling all that comfortable here anymore. Don't worry, none of you did anything. Its not the readers/visitors/followers, its the aesthetic of this place. I'm way over it! This green and purple, and the chick up top enjoying the acupuncture gots to go. That heffa ain't me!! Hmph, I STILL haven't made it to the spa!

Its time for A Place of Comfort to get a makeover. I need to be inspired to share my life here. I like to look at my blog when I'm not writing. Make sure everything is in its place and just hang out for a while. Lately, I haven't wanted to hang out here. I've been doing more hanging at my other blog... that one's a secret.

Can any of you help me bring the comfort back to this place? Who do you know and love that puts their all into blog design?

A day off means sitting on the couch, in my pajamas, doing all of the things that I'd normally do if it were a day on. Plus, my favorite tv shows.

This week, my good friend Traci, over at Beauty in Rare Form, was nice enough to share her very first blog award with me. I love experiencing the joy of bloggers who receive their first blog awards. Its one of those "I have arrived" experiences. To be recognized and appreciated for your words, your views, your life, can be an overwhelming escapade. So, I thank her again for her generosity. As with the last award that was shared with me, I am going to share this with all of you! If you have never gotten an award before, please snatch this one up and put it on your side bar as a reminder that I think what you have to say is awesome! If your sidebar runneth over with awards, carry this one in your heart.

For those who like to follow the rules, here goes.

• Share this award with 7 other bloggers that you think are honestly amazing.
• Let those wonderful 7 bloggers know that you have recognized them.
• Share 10 honest things about yourself.

Since I am in an honest kind of mood today, I'll go ahead and play along...

1. One of the reasons that I decided to go natural was to "live by example" for my daughter. I go the extra mile to make sure that she views her natural locs positively, and will rip anyone who says otherwise a new asshole! I couldn't honestly talk about how beautiful, versatile, amazing, and super cool natural hair really was without having some myself. So now, we both rock our natural curls and discover, together, new ways to make them the best that they can be.
2. I'm easily annoyed. I don't try to be, it just happens, and you know what? I fully accept it. There are some things that just easily get under my skin, like people who talk alot. Don't like them... AT ALL. Now, I'm not talking about people who actually have good conversation, I'm talking about those people who will walk in a room talking, and will continue to go on and on about nothing at all, even when its clear that no one is listening.
3. While we are on the subject of folks I don't like, can I add 'people who are always happy' to that please? Its not that I don't enjoy positive people or positivity in general. I do. Really. But when a person uses "positivity" to overshadow what someone else is experiencing, that I can't stand. Example phrases: "Look on the bright side", "Things could be worse", "Just pray on it". These people make me wanna say, "Just SHUT UP".
4. I LOVE music. I think that life really does have a soundtrack. I'd bet that there is a song that can remind you of each stage of your life. Music just works that way. Experiences and senarios get put to a beat, and people relate. Or, a particular song/album/band/singer can define an entire era or decade of your life. Anita Baker does that for me.
5. My favorite Thanksgiving dessert is Sweet Potatoe Pie. I love everything about it. The smell, the taste, the wonderful memories of my great-grandmother that it brings. I always have to have my grandmother to make me my very own pie, separate from those that will be eatten at dinner time!
6. I don't understand women who can't leave the house without a full face of makeup. I feel like it should be a choice, not a requirement to face the world.
7. I think life would be soooo pointless without good comedy. There is nothing like a gut busting laugh, especially at yourself.
8. Don't know if I said this before, but... the Duggars scare me and amaze me at the same time. Poor Michelle, thinking that her 8 month old was gonna be their last. Ha! She never saw pregnancy #19 coming.
9. I'm looking forward to finding a good paying job, and hoping that it is very far from corporate.
10. I appreciate having the circle of friends that I have. They are the very best!

That's it. Enjoy your award and the rest of your weekend.

1. Plans and schedules are never fixed.

2. I'm happy when things are serene.

3. The last thing I drank was a tall can of ice cold tea.

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my child.

5. I like a combination of toppings on my pizza.

6. Dear November, please bring yummy Thanksgiving food, happiness into my household and a certain level of closure.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting caught up in my reading, tomorrow my plans include hopefully nothing and Sunday, I want to get prepared for the week ahead!

To participate in Friday Fill-Ins click here --->

If you have been following the national news, you will have learned of the recent gang rape of a 15 year old girl, outside of a high school homecoming dance. The crime scene? My alma mater. I can't even explain the level of shock that came over me as I stood in front of my tv watching the local news report. Gang rape? People watching? People filming? WHAT?

Being a high schooler at Richmond High wasn't a cake walk when I was a student there. We were faced with outdated materials, the school district's debt, low quality instruction, and the occasional experience of a teacher leaving a classroom in the middle of a semester because s/he was offered a better opportunity at a "better" school. Within this, there were a few teachers and administration who truly gave a damn. Two of those people are part of the reason that I was able to recognize UC Berkeley as a possibility. I had a teacher who saw potential in me in my Freshman year at RHS, and he nominated me for a scholarship. Through that scholarship, I was paired with a mentor for four years, who took me around networking, bought my prom dress, and volunteered her car for my driving test that landed me a license. Our career councilor took me under her wing and made sure that I knew about every single scholarship that came across her desk. As a result, I graduated from Richmond High School with $55,000 in scholarships, including a full ride to Cal.

But that was then. Recent years at RHS haven't even had a career councilor. Recent years at RHS haven't yielded scholarships. Recent years at RHS seem to be extremely different and severe. And now, students are faced with further tarnishment of the school's name and reputation. This is an unacceptable high school experience. An unbelievable high school environment... one in which students are expected to excel and are viewed as incapable and un-valuable when they do not.

My heart goes out to the victim and I am wishing her all the best in her recovery from this horrible ordeal. I am incredibly proud of the students who have stood up and made their voices heard about their worth and how this crime has affected them. Proud of the girl who had the courage to call the police after she saw the victim in distress. I am also glad that the boys involved are being rounded up and arrested and I am hoping that justice will prevail in this case.

As you all know, I walked it on out back in May. I was in full graduation ceremony mode, participating in like, FOUR of them. I had my department commencement, a scholarship dinner, a commencement for student parents, and I also participated in the commencement for Black graduates. I practically spent the month of May in and out of cap and gown. There were plenty of enjoyable moments from these ceremonies, like when Miss J walked across the stage with me during my department graduation, and when my Cal mommies and I got to celebrate our accomplishments together during our student parent ceremony. There were also some bittersweet moments, like the fact that my grandfather was in Mississippi for the month and missed out on the happiness. He really wanted to be there, and was saddened not to see himself in the family pictures.

Lucky for him, we all have the opportunity to do it all over again. Well, maybe not "all" of it, but I do have the opportunity to participate in the December commencement ceremony for December graduates. Since this is officially my very last semester as a Cal student, THAT'S ME! Sure, I wouldn't be walking with any of my friends this time, but at least this would give my grandfather the opportunity to be a part of the experience as he should be. He is currently on another trip to MS, but gave me the go ahead to get all signed up because he'll be back home by the date. So, looks like its on. Back in the cap and gown, and time to flip that tassel to the left, to the left.

Sometimes I wish that I could stand here and fade away...

I stood in the mirror and beat my face to perfection with the war paint. A battle ensuing within me from the night before. The war paint would keep the tears away. No waterproof eyeliner, no waterproof mascara, no touch-ups necessary. But, on the walk to the bus stop, I found myself waving my white flag, surrendering to my emotions, my tears, my depression, my anxiety. Life was suddenly harder to live. Just kill me now, don't keep letting the war drag out. End it already!

I stood in the mirror and watched the tears pour from my gold dusted cat eyes, chocolate creeks flowing down my cheeks, sparkling lips trembling. My God, you are beautiful. The mascara may not be waterproof, but powder erases all traces of a battle lost.

The sun is shining so brightly today. I should be enjoying the warmth on my skin, the natural dose of Vitamin D to my system. The campus is alive and the people are stirring about. I should be enjoying the atmosphere, being around such positivity and brilliance. However...

Not today. Today, I'd rather be in my cool apartment, in nothing but a big t-shirt, laid across my leather sectional. I'd rather be alone, just me and my yarn and hook. Left to be thoughtless and carefree... at least until 6pm when the happenings of a 1st grade day will begin to ring in my ears.

How's your day?

Its National Blog Posting Month again, and again, I'm all in. Ready to take the challenge. It will do both myself and my readers some good. I'll discipline myself to write everyday, which I will need since the thesis needs to be nearly completed this month, and you will have the opportunity to stop by for everyday rants and raves. What fun.

Seems like the month of October flew by. One minute the semester was starting and I was trying to find an available class, that might be enjoyable, and now I have 5 more weeks until its all over. I'll get all of my papers in next month and then start the task of packing up a household that I have been settled into for the last 6 years. At the moment, I have no idea where we will be heading, but I'm sure I will figure it all out by the time we must be moving on. Miss J is a little sad about our move. Its the only home that she's known. We've been in the same neighborhood and apartment since she was 5 months old. All of her friends are in this neighborhood. But as all good things do, our time hear must come to an end. I am taking the time to explain to her that just because we wont be in the same neighborhood anymore, it doesn't mean that she wont be able to see and spend time with her friends anymore. Its gonna be a process.

How's your Monday?

A full, fun-filled Halloween came to an end a few hours ago. What a perfect night to gain a whole extra hour. With all of the day's activities, it came in handy.

After attending a birthday party, Miss J and I got in our costumes and headed over to a friend's for a Halloween party.



Then, came the trick or treating.


The night closed with Miss J going over to a friend's house for a Halloween sleepover, while I joined a friend for, Halloween: Grown and Sexy.


How was your Halloween?