We stood in solidarity this week, and were semi-defeated with the approval of the proposed 32% fee hike to tuition within the UC system. So, that means that $2,500 will be tacked onto the already $4,176 - $4, 874 (depending if you have opted to be covered under the University's health insurance plan) next semester, bringing tuition costs to $6,676 - $7,374 for Spring 2010. This is detrimental to students who are already struggling to pay for their education, and it is devastating for certain campus communities, such as students of color and student-parents. Although the Regents say that low-income students will be shielded from this hike, we are having a hard time trusting that. The fact that the University is laying workers and faculty off left and right, closing child care centers, imposing new regulations and eliminating vital resources, DOES NOT provide any ease. We all fear that this is the beginning of the "death of public education".


We have been reminded by fellow students that this decision to approve the fee hike was not solely the decision of the UC Regents, but more of a snowball effect of our dry state. California's budget crisis has not improved and people are still feeling the sting of frigged air from being left out in the cold for what is starting to feel like forever. Whatever the reasons, we simply CAN NOT afford to dish out more money, and we are being told that neither can the financial systems that have been in place to aid us. So, then what? What happens to the student who has invested so much, but can not afford to continue on the journey? What happens to high schoolers who may not be able to get fully funded? How will the University, particularly, UC Berkeley, maintain its status as one of the most prestigious schools in the country if it has to shut out thousands of hopeful applicants? There will surely be some interesting times ahead as things continue to unfold.


The movement to stand up, fight for what is right, and be heard, will press on today, as students have organized themselves for another day of protesting. There is still a great belief in the power of a mass and collectivity. The hope is that the University will see that the students they serve "ARE the University and they have the power to shut it down". No business as usual for many, even as the semester is ending and finals are being thought up, students still have justice on the brain. I can't predict an outcome, but I can show my support by participating in the movement as I have been while I am still officially on campus, and show my solidarity to my UC Berkeley community once I move on.

The second week of classes is winding down and I have found myself to be already behind in my reading assignments. I'm not alone. This seems to be the story of other Cal mommies as well. Tales of late registrations, wait-listed classes, sick babies and financial aid hangups. There is always "something". Each semester is different from the last and requires a completely new set of strategies to make it through. Often, when many of us are on our second and third weeks of hunger (yes, some of us actually are starving while attending one of the top universities in the country), exhausted from burning the candle at both ends, and trying to master the art of mothering (and fathering... can't forget about the Cal dads) our children, we are left wondering if all that we go through, all that we have to sacrifice is really worth it.

Right now, I am amongst the bunch who are awaiting a financial aid pay out. No books (+) no note taking materials (+) a lame computer (x) frustration, further irritability and disorganization (/) depressive episodes = lots of unhappiness and disorientation. The optimism that I once had has been replaced by the usual chronic worry. I want so much for a new life, a new state of being... just for things to go right for a change, before they head wrong. Furthering my education was suppose to afford me these things. Instead, I am living a life that seems to be harder than the one that I lived growing up. A continued "suffering", but in a new context, with new rules to the game. Yes, this is a great opportunity and it is very much worth it and life will be so much better for my daughter and I once I have my degree, yada yada yada. That still does not cast a shadow on the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly grind that is endured in the quest for the American Dream.

I'm down now, but I am still looking up. I know that my financial aid will show up just before my computer dies for the final time, I will get all the books and materials that I need, I will cry and have sleepless nights over completing the 47 pages of writing for four different classes, I will bitch and moan about not being cut out for this shit, I will give my all and finish the semester with not one class failed, I will have a few days break and then get ready to devise a new strategy for surviving the summer that will earn me a degree.