What we have here is a case of the missed occasions, as my Blogoversary meter reads 360 more days until the next celebration. I was absent from the festivities on the 19th. I don't know, just really didn't feel much like celebrating. I still don't really feel much like celebrating, but I will say that I am grateful to be here. I'm grateful for the space to be heard. I've spent much of my life struggling to be heard - being misunderstood, so to have a space where I can amplify my thoughts, my experiences, and to have committed to this space for 2 years...

I'm experimenting with site feeds over here. Trying to get prepared for the upcoming changes to A Place of Comfort. I'm not sure when those changes will take place, but whenever they do, I want to already have the foundation of this new home in place. When it comes to renaming, things don't always go as planned. Goodbye Disordered Life, hello Chasing Metamorphosis. This temporary place of comfort can now be found here:

www.chasingmetamorphosis.blogspot.com

I'm trying to work out the kinks to make sure you don't have to work too hard to find me.

Remember when I talked about wanting to switch things up over here? Well, my name is approaching the top of the waiting list and I'm excited. I was fortunate enough to be referred to a very generous designer. Louise, of Adori Graphics, does some mighty cute and creative work, and in her spare-spare time, she even does free blog makeovers. Taking into account those of us who blog for therapy and/or for charities, Louise does, what she calls, Community Spirit and Write From The Heart Makeovers. I am looking forward to sharing a new space with all of you very soon. Along with the new design will also come a new name. Don't worry though, I'll let you know before the change so you don't think I just up and left you =).

In other news...

I got a couple of call backs from a couple of temp agencies. I have been unable to touch bases with the first of the two, so it was nice to have gotten the call from the second. I did a little research, and based on the description of the position on their website, it looks interesting. I wont really know just how interesting until I have talked with the agency, which I am planning to do come daylight. I am hoping that something comes through soon. Time is a little of the essence, and I need to start making some major moves very soon.

On a lighter note...

I completely enjoyed my birthday week. It was a real pick-me-up to the lows that I have been stuck in. Not saying those lows are now highs, but I am saying that I was reaching for the sky last week! Thank God for amazing friends!

Yay! Who doesn't love getting an award every now and then? This one came my way via my friend - my partner in crime - my sister, the equally beautiful Traci of Beauty in Rare Form, Babygirlz Magazine and M.O.C.A.E.D. (Mothers of Color Against Education Discrimination). Yeah, she's all kinds of awesome.

Its the Beautiful Blogger Award, and it was shared with me because of Notes to Emma. Traci said,

"I have seen this in movies - but only when a person thinks they are about to leave this earth. In Barbara's case, she just wanted to offer something to her daughter, to answer all her questions about life, about herself, about her mommy. Beautiful and very inspiring."

Thank you again for the beautiful words and the recognition. I'm sure that Emma will be delighted to know that her life and her history is award winning. Now its time for me to do some sharing. In my opinion, every single writer that I am following is a beautiful blogger! Since I stopped following the rules along time ago, I was tempted not to award 15 specific bloggers with this, because, you know, like I said, all of you are beautiful, BUT, I want to highlight a few of you for your awesomeness =).

So, here goes...

1. Miss Nico of Mama Bear - Single Mom Meets UC Berkeley
Aside from the fact that this beautiful woman has opened her home to me and my daughter, taking our Cal refugee selves in, she is just straight up brilliant! She has overcoming and is still overcoming, like so many of us, "clawing our way out of the gutter with no claws!" To hell with boots and boot straps, at this time, us Cal moms and former Cal moms are on a whole other level of survival, for ourselves and for our children. That in itself is a beautiful thing.

2. Mama C of Mama C and the Boys
Catherine is such a breathe of fresh air. She is a fellow single mama, raising two little handsome boys. And, did I mention that Mama C is mothering a beautifully blended family? She's white, with one black son and one biracial son, and is co-parenting them with her brother. The way that we choose, and are chosen in life, are amazing. Check her out to read about her unique perspectives and enlightening experiences.

3. Rue of Outdoor Afro
Calling attention to the lack of exposure of black folks in the outdoors, Rue turned her passion into a business, bringing awareness and inspiration. Just this past Sunday, she collaborated with a couple of organizations in an effort to get black bicyclers out on the roads and visable to other black folks in our communities. It was a beautiful success. Check her out for more information on blacks in the outdoors, and if you are a person of color (not just African American) who loves the outdoors and you would like to share your experience, she is always looking for features.

Alrighty. Run along and get to reading. And seriously, this award is for all of you, so feel free to accept, link back here, and if you want, share it with other beautiful bloggers. Just remember to let them know that you've awarded them.

By now, many of you have probably noticed that, when I leave you a comment on your blog, my name appears as Emma's Mom instead of Ms. Bar B. That's because I've started another blog, dedicated solely to Emma. And in case you are wondering who Emma is, you can find that out here. I'm still Ms. Bar B, but penning the posts for Emma, as Emma's Mom, just adds extra meaning.

I started a journal just for her a while back. I wanted to record all of her milestones, and tell her all of these things about myself, and her family. Every child has questions about themselves as they get older, questions about their history and yours, and the majority of the time, as parents, we are able to provide those answers. In my case, my mother passed away when I was eight years old, so I did not have the opportunity to ask her questions about her time with me when I was a baby, her feelings, her life experiences. I had to, and still have to, learn of these things from the fading memories of others, and even then, they are "her" feelings and life experiences as told by (fill in the blank). How cool would it have been if she had written me notes, or kept a journal? To have her story in her own words. It would have been priceless to me now. Fortunately, this is something that I am able to do for my daughter. Aside from this being a creative way for me to speak to my child, it also provides the space for difficult conversations. Contrary to what some may believe about the level of truth that a parent should reveal to a child, I believe that honesty really is the best policy, especially when it comes to history and circumstance, and I wish to be fully honest with my daughter.

This isn't a new concept. Some of you may already write letters or record memories for your children. Tara, of The Young Mommy Life, shares letters to her children on her blog, and has plans of publishing them one day, and the late Professor Randy Pausch turned his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University into a book of legacy for the two children that he was leaving behind. The ability to leave your mark in such a way is one of the greatest gifts a child, or any loved one for that matter, could have.

So came Notes to Emma. I hope that you will check it out. It has already begun to inspire. Don't be shy, be inspired too.

Being a blogger opens up so many different avenues. From networking opportunities to possibilities of seeing the world through different eyes. Most of all, blogging has afforded me the opportunity to make friends and to both inspire and be inspired by words that create change. I am never uninspired by my friend Tameka of the blog Tea & Honey Bread. Her way with words, her beautiful art and jewelry - reminding me that I am never lost in the taupes, or alone as a loner.

As a blogger she has reached a milestone: 500+ blog spots and 200+ followers! To celebrate these awesome accomplishments, she is hosting a Reader Appreciation Giveaway over on her blog. You are gonna wanna check her out and enter her giveaway.

To find out more and enter, click --->here<---