As you all know, I walked it on out back in May. I was in full graduation ceremony mode, participating in like, FOUR of them. I had my department commencement, a scholarship dinner, a commencement for student parents, and I also participated in the commencement for Black graduates. I practically spent the month of May in and out of cap and gown. There were plenty of enjoyable moments from these ceremonies, like when Miss J walked across the stage with me during my department graduation, and when my Cal mommies and I got to celebrate our accomplishments together during our student parent ceremony. There were also some bittersweet moments, like the fact that my grandfather was in Mississippi for the month and missed out on the happiness. He really wanted to be there, and was saddened not to see himself in the family pictures.

Lucky for him, we all have the opportunity to do it all over again. Well, maybe not "all" of it, but I do have the opportunity to participate in the December commencement ceremony for December graduates. Since this is officially my very last semester as a Cal student, THAT'S ME! Sure, I wouldn't be walking with any of my friends this time, but at least this would give my grandfather the opportunity to be a part of the experience as he should be. He is currently on another trip to MS, but gave me the go ahead to get all signed up because he'll be back home by the date. So, looks like its on. Back in the cap and gown, and time to flip that tassel to the left, to the left.

That's what I tried to give them.

That is what I always find myself trying to give them.

Can somebody please explain to me what would make an aunt promise her niece that she'd be there on graduation day, and never show up? Now, explain to me what would make TWO aunts do this!

I gave them a choice of which ceremonies to attend.

Busted my ass trying to make sure that I'd be able to use my credit card to purchase tickets just to get them in the door.

And there I was. Half-supported.

This is how they do me?

Not answering my phone calls or having the decency to call or text me to say they couldn't make it.

Selling me false hope the day they took the tickets out of my hand; reassured me that they had the directions; talked about putting gifts and flowers in my hand.

And there I was . Half-supported.


If you are reading dear aunt(s). I'd like you to know a few things. The first of which: THAT WAS FUCKED UP!!!! And highly unforgivable. It was MY day. It was suppose to be special. I wanted you to be there. I needed you to be there... because our family is but a fraction, and without you there was a vacancy and a cast over MY accomplishment. Not having you greet me at the stage with flashes going, flowers, or just a simple cheer was devastating. You ruined MY day!

One of you found it more important to go out and enjoy a boxing match, which I'm sure included getting pissy drunk, because that's how you always are... pissy drunk... because YOU are a pissy drunk! And all you could say is that you were sorry? You're sorry? You're sorry? You god damn right you're sorry. And I am sorry, that I share DNA with people like you.

One of you has left my calls, text messages, and emails unnoticed. But you haven't missed a day of talking to my grandmother, and mentioning that you needed to still call me. Well, its been 17 days and still NOTHING! Do you ever plan on explaining to me how you could lie to me in such a way? DO YOU?

Truth is, I shouldn't even be mad at ya'll... I should be mad at myself for continuously believing in ya'll, AND for allowing ya'll to dictate how I end up feeling about myself and what I have worked hard for. Its funny how family has that kind of power. How an action, a statement, can totally transform the way you see things. Well, fuck that! Right now I'm about to put my foot down!

YOU, no longer get the benefit of the doubt!

I'm black and I'm proud...

By this point, Miss J has had quite enough of congratulating mommy and being a part of all the action, so she opted out of "walking" with me and chose to sit in the audience with two of her little friends, who would be watching their mommy walk.

We were all seated and still jamming to James Brown's voice and waving to family and friends.

Me and my good friend Rue of Outdoor Afro. The mommies were definitely in the building!
(Stop by to check her out and learn a little something about how black folks actually do love the great outdoors)

I was feeling very good after exiting that stage. I had my family, friends and other supporters watching. I was seated amongst an amazing, beautifully intelligent crowd of people of color. Everything and everyone was happy.

One more celebration this week and its back to reality...

Final papers, summer classes, sleepless summer nights spent researching and writing my thesis, possible Fall classes if said thesis is not completed by August, possible Fall classes if I don't figure out what the heck I'm gonna do with the rest of my life find a job and a place to live after said summer classes are finished and thesis has been completed. And when its all said and done, I'm hoping that all of my hard work (and some not so hard) will pay off wonderfully.

Warning: Be prepared to become sick and tired of saying "congratulations" because this is only ceremony #2 of 4!

The Department of Gender & Women's Studies Commencement

Me and the Baby Bear getting ready to head over to the venue with family

Getting in early pictures with my grandmother

Crossing the finish line with Miss J in tow

Taking Renee's advice on bringing sexy back!

And so did my grandmother