Join me over at Moms of Hue, where I talk about the beautiful contribution that my friend, and fellow student single mother, Koko Mulder, has made to student families at the University of California, Berkeley.

Nearly two years ago I decided that I was going to slim down. It was October 2007, and I found myself weighing 161 lbs. That was the most that I had ever weighed. Not too bad, right? I had always wanted to gain weight when I was a young size 5, but after seeing myself in the company Halloween photos, I wasn't too happy about what 161 lbs was looking like on my 5'1 frame. I signed on at Curves and went faithfully 3x a week, which paid off for me significantly. I dropped down to 146 lbs in just a few months. I felt really good about my progress and was looking forward to making it all the way to my goal weight of 125 lbs.

Then...

I was laid off from my job, and I let it affect my participation at Curves, and the way I ate. I went from healthy food choices back to the drive through, and from working out 3 days a week to just walking from class to class while on campus. I'm sure you know what happened next. The weight came back, and it brought 5 more friend pounds with it! The weight didn't return right away, but ever since I fell off the wagon in February 2008, my weight has been consistently on the rise.

After laying in bed all night waiting for sleep to come, and reading, and crocheting, and watching informercials, and checking emails, and arguing with myself over if I should attempt to force sleep upon myself at 4am, I made a spontaneous decision... to chase after the 'old me' again. Now, I know that life's goal should be to evolve; to become a better person than you once were. However, sometimes what we really need is the opposite. Sometimes life transforms us into people who are too different from the people of yesteryear. Haven't you even looked back at your life, and the you that you used to be, and felt the need to reground yourself? Well, that's sorta what happened to me this morning. I took a long look at the Barbara that I am right now and decided that I don't really like her. She isn't the "me" that I really wanna be. She's stuck in translation. The Barbara that I love existed before baby... before fear... she also existed within a 115 lb body that was healthy, muscular and welcomed a good challenge.

So, again, I have decided its time for me to slim down. No Curves this time, but I will revisit another program that helped me be successful. This program isn't really a program, but a social network that provides community, resources and tools, and support from folks who are in search of the same thing that you are. I'm talking about Sparkpeople.com. There, you can chart your weight loss, track and plan your meals, create a fitness routine, and jumpstart your motivation by interacting with others who are on the same path. There are even teams/groups available that you can join to help you find the support you need to reach your goals, whether its finding a buddy in your area to workout with or just another person to cheer you on. Best of all, these services are 100% free!

This morning I signed in for the first time in a year and a half, reintoduced myself and was welcomed back instantly by people who are still in the fight for good health. I am looking forward to getting readdicted to tracking my meals and earning points for keeping to my workouts. In fact, I started tracking today and I will do my first workout tonight!! After Miss J is alseep, I'm gonna pop in my Taebo dvd and work up a black sweat with Billy Blanks.

You can check out Sparkpeople if you would like to add a little virtual support to your routine, or hook up with workout buddies. Also, you can check out my profile here.

Today, grills will go ablaze, laughter will fill the air, and memories of loved ones lost will take hold. I will journey into the courtyard and be welcomed by familiar faces, then return hours later bathed in mesquite aroma and rather lethargic. May the same happen for you on this beautiful day.

I hope that everyone has a happy and very blessed Easter Sunday. Seems like each year our holidays stray further and further from family tradition, but all is well, once the family matriarch dies, often so does family tradition. Instead of spending my morning in a Sunday service I'll be spending it cuddled up in bed. And instead of my grandmother slaving over the stove trying to cook a meal while hoping that all of her ungrateful children will join together as one big happy loving family, I'll in turn, do the slaving just for her and never think twice about those who just don't matter as much anymore.

All of that talk about favorite Thanksgiving dishes and desserts got me thinking about other sweets that I enjoy. My favs never have to come after a meal. Sometimes, they are the meal. Here is one that has many renditions, and whose standard recipe hugs and kisses my soul each time I have a bowl. Good old Banana Pudding. I made some last week and indulged until there was none left. This is one of the simplest desserts to throw together and has just a few basic ingredients.

1. Bananas
2. Jello Vanilla Pudding
3. Nilla Wafers
4. Milk

That's it! This dish is a layered concoction of yummy greatness. Here's what you do...

Place a layer of cookies on the bottom of the container of your choice. Then slice bananas and layer over the cookies. Repeat these steps until your container is full. As you can see, I ran out of cookies at the last minute, but that's ok. You can end with cookies on top or bananas, whatever you'd like. It starts out kind of like a banana cookie parfait. Then you will take your Vanilla Pudding and just follow the package directions, which call for about 1/2 cup of milk. This will be poured over the layers to finish the dish. There are two types of Vanilla Pudding that you can buy, Cook n Serve or Instant. If you are going to go with Instant you will have to have a keen eye, as it will thicken quickly. You DO NOT want the pudding to be too thick because if so, you'll end up with pudding on top and dry krispy cookies on the bottom. With either, you will have to stir stir stir until the pudding starts to coat the spoon and then pour.

Refrigerate, then enjoy!