I took a breather over the weekend, and carved out some time and some space for a little relaxation and work. I am quickly learning that, as a work at home mom, relaxation and work will often be a part of the same sentence/idea, just as relaxation, motherhood and academics were while I was knocking out my semesters at Cal. Being everything at the same time is no easy task, but it always has its benefits. Instead of wearing many hats, I just wear one hat, with many different names on it!
In a way, I am actually happy to have a place of refuge within this newly found work, because, although I am busy creating, crocheting still gives me that original peace. Its an art, much like sewing, that allows you to lose yourself within your project. You become one with your project. You control the flow and the outcome, thus, if you don't mind a challenge every now and then, for the most part, you remain relatively stress-free.
I have been spending my days, on my grandmother's couch, surrounded by colorful yarns and warmth. My work, has become "our" thing, as my grandmother and I chit chat about patterns and colors and collaborations and needle sizes... and other things crochet. Momentarily, the chit chat provides an escape from the fact that I am still 9-to-5-less and homeless and due to the state being budgetless - I am child care-less, come back to school time. Newly created butterflies hold the smiles that were formed after the laughter from my grandfather, on the other end of the phone, from a hospital bed in Mississippi where he has had a mild stroke. As he proceeds with three weeks of physical therapy down south, and my grandmother wraps her arm in the band of the blood pressure machine, and transfers the product of her freshly pricked finger into the glucose reader here in the north, all I can do is crochet.
Supporting UC Berkeley Mothers
I'm not hiding behind the counter anymore, no longer hoping those passing by don't see me. The deadbolt is off the door, and the welcome sign is out. I sure am glad that folks weren't afraid to come on in. Since adding the new additions to Baby Squares, and sprucing the place up, people have taken interest, and I have followed up on that interest. The result? THREE custom Baby Squares blankets in the works, and me stepping outside my crafty comfort zone to try new granny square motifs. I am grateful for the support, and for the push to own my entrepreneurship. Its still a little difficult for me to view what I have going here as a business, or maybe its difficult for me to begin viewing myself as a small business owner. However, its not very difficult to get excited about the approaching arrival of new babies!



New blankets in the shop, Baby Squares has met Facebook, I'm half way through some bell hooks, got a couple of potential orders, and a full belly... its about time I entertain the cookies n' cream that is waiting for me in the freezer.
I'm talking about police brutality... with a twist. Go on over and weigh in. While you're there, check out the other thought-provoking pieces by fellow Moms of Hue writers, and get in on the discussion.
Courtesy of T. Allen-Mercado- Today marks the conclusion of the 1st grade for Miss J. She's been really excited about her accomplishments and I've been really proud. This school year has definitely had its ups and downs, but it has ended in improvement and happiness. I'm already looking forward to her fresh start of 2nd grade, but first we're gonna try to get in some relaxation and summer fun, starting in about 2 1/2 hours.
- I'm busy at work on new Baby Squares. I have a pretty pink and a pretty lavender that will be added to the shop as soon as I can get some good pictures, also a glance at the pretty custom purple that I'm working on. Hopefully I will be busy at work on a 9-5 soon.
- I've been thinking about selfishness and selflessness. About the people in my life who are selfish and those who are selfless. And more importantly, about the people in my daughter's life who are selfish and those who are selfless. I've come to the conclusion that those who are selfish need to be eliminated. I realize that with each passing year, I grow a little less patient for people who only see themselves in the world.
Five years ago I asked two of my good friends if they would do the honors of becoming my daughter's Godparents; they accepted. It wasn't a decision that I came to lightly. I had survived middle and high school with one of these people and had known the other since elementary school, these two people knew me extremely well, and were trusted with my life, and so trusted with my daughter's. I did not ask them solely because we were good friends, but because I truly believed that these two people loved my daughter and would always be capable of expressing that love to her. For a while, it was so. Aside from our usual time spent together, they were present for birthdays and holidays. God-dad has always taken pride in his God-daughter. He has always been more than happy to be present or called on. My general issue isn't with him, but with the person who eagerly accepted the role as God-mother in my daughter's life. The same person who years later, confessed that she actually doesn't like children. The same person that made my hungry daughter wait a 45 minute car ride to eat because she didn't allow any eating in her new car, the same person who ignored an email that I sent asking her to write my daughter, her God-daughter, a letter with some well wishes for her future to commemorate her 7th birthday - and when confronted simply said "I'll pass". Yeah, that bitch. I have a huge problem with that bitch.
In no way did I ever view the roles of God-parents as "stand ins" for actual parents. But I did view God-parents as people who took a deep interest in a child and cared about his or her well being. That bitch's complete dismissal of my request was really like a slap in the face to both me and my baby... and those who send a slap in the face to my baby get more than just the "stare" or the "side eye", they get the fucking wrath. So, for now, here is my message to her...
(note: scroll down to the bottom of the blog to pause the music player. Enjoy the video)
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Working from a collection of inspiration, I decided to try my hand at cornrowing... again. It took some time, but I was finally able to get a workable technique going, and come out with something that resembled cornrows. I gave Miss J these box braids about a week or so ago, a re-boxing of some older box braids from her shampoo. We have been doing different things with the front, and since her dress came with a headband, I decided to try a style that I saw on a Youtube video.
Although the BronzeGoddess has beautiful locs, I thought I should be able to do a variation of this style on Miss J's hair. Starting with one side, I attempted the cornrows.As you can see, the bit of braiding that is close to the scalp looks NOTHING like a braid *sad face*. I'm starting to feel like I am not a 'small cornrowing' kind of girl, but I know that with more practice I will get better at it. I took these two side cornrows and connected them into the big braid on the other side (which I now realize I should have left the ends lose!)
Instead of taking the big side braid all the way around the back of Miss J's head like the BronzeGoddess does, I opted to only incorporate 3 of the box braids from the back left side so that the big braid would hand toward the back with the rest of the braids. It sort of worked.
And in place of a flower, of course we used the headband, which had a fabulous red bow. After removing the three back box braids from the big side braid, I liked the way the braids had a crinkle to them, and decided to take a page from Beads, Braids, Beyond and braid the back box braids into about 4 big braids for sleeping. We'll see what the result turns out to be.
At the end of a full day of celebrating my one and only true love, I am really quite speechless. The day couldn't have been more perfect. For the first time, in like, forever, the sun was shining so brightly, warming our skin as we made our way from auntie's house to grandma's, showing off the dress that she picked out all by herself just because it matched mommy's shoes.


Then, we took in a local little league baseball game and showed some team spirit to our favorite team as they kicked some booty in the playoffs.
Had dinner, and came home to a beautiful surprise.
Miss J couldn't have had a better 7th birthday!
1. Thus far, any place that houses my closest friends and a whole lotta laughter is my favorite place to travel to.
2. When I think about my childhood, I often remember those sunny days of bike riding and playing with Kenya dolls on my front porch.
3. A good book often makes for a good friend.
4. The wind in the trees, the rain on my skin, the tire marks in the pavement.
5. Thinking about summertime activities is so exciting!
6. My best friend knows so much about me that, if we were to not be friends anymore, I'd have to kill her.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to taking it easy, tomorrow my plans include celebrating Miss J's birthday... WHOO HOOO and Sunday, I want to continue celebrating my little-big girl!
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I have been so consumed lately and uninterested. Neglectful to the project, the passion that I thought I was so passionate about. My cute little shop is bare. It looks like I'm on vacation, when I'm merely held up inside, ducking down behind the counter hoping that those who pass by don't see me. My deserted little blankets. The two in the shop, and the two here in my bag - especially the one that is still rough around the edges. I shall pick up hook and yarn this week and reclaim my space, and hopefully draw a crowd.
If you stop by, I might remove the deadbolt from the doors and put out the welcome sign.