I don't wanna take them. AT ALL! Isn't there a way around this?

I met with my doctor today and she says that when the meds hit a plateau that means the dosage needs to be increased.

Question(s):

- Why did the meds hit a plateau after just 1 month?
- Does that really mean that the dosage needs to be increased or that this med just doesn't work for me?
- How many other meds do I need to go through and how many more dosage increases on how many more meds do I need to go through?
- So, my only two options are to take the meds and/or to make time to see a therapist?
- Why did you look at me sideways when I declined your prescription offer for the morning after pill?

Yes, that last question might seem a little random, but she gives me these all over mini life evaluations when I go in there. She keeps track of what I'm doing, how long I've been doing it, and who I've been doing it with, and where I'm taking it next. I even had to explain my damn thesis at this visit!! I guess it means she cares, but sometimes it gets on my nerves because she's constantly overbooked, and when I really have a list of things I need to discuss with her she doesn't have time to take care of me, but when I don't feel like talking or can't remember all the shit that has been ailing me, then she wants to lay in on me and get the low down on what's been going on.

Now, my new task is to keep a journal since I'm having trouble with my memory, so that she can decipher what's a side effect of the medication and what's "me". My lack of affect, paired with my memory issues, makes journal writing a good idea. Then, I'm suppose to get reacquainted with a therapist in the office that I tried to build a relationship with before. I'm tired of sitting around retelling my story to those who get paid to hear it. I don't wanna talk. I just want some solutions. And besides, I don't particularly wanna talk to him. I wanna talk to a woman. In a setting that I am comfortable in. Not one where I have sit in a tiny office and stick my daughter in a chair outside the door while I talk about her dad or all my other shit. Sigh...