Felt a bit better today. Funny how that happens... extreme lows, washed away with a sudden high. I awoke this morning and made a decision: No worrying.

Grandma stopped by today with some "get well" goodies for me and Miss J. She then took Miss J's clothes home with her and washed them for us. I made a decision to feel no guilt or shame about having to ask her if she could wash my baby's clothes, and also made a decision to recycle mine. I can wait another week or so to be completely clean.

I picked myself up, cleaned the house, and even took Miss J out to the park. It felt great just to open my blinds today. This apartment hasn't had a healthy dose of sunshine in months. And to head outside, to be amongst other people? You know today must of been a pretty good day. Although the park is literally in our backyard, we seldom venture out. Not because Miss J doesn't like being at the park, but because I have too much anxiety most of the time to be there. I didn't even reach for my scarf. I slicked some moisturizer on my half nappy-half straight hair, threw on my earrings and hit the door. No anxiety today, so why hide from the world? The both of us, sick, barking at each other, bare armed, soaking up Vitamin D, running into old friends on the slide.

Even managed to get some light reading done, in between doing a quick combing out of Miss J's mane. We would have gotten in that much needed shampoo (8 months overdue... don't ask...anxiety, remember?) if it were not bedtime by the time we made it back from grandma's. I know better than to come near that child's head with a comb and dryer at 7pm!

There's always next weekend.