Let's just say, the relaying of my thoughts and feelings was a complete disaster and ended in a scene. And when I say "scene", I mean one of those infamous Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is Frankie and Neffe and whoever happens to be on the opposite end of the wrath type scenes. It was just a plain and simple hot mess. He accused me of being too lazy and neglectful, in which Miss J walks around looking like I never comb her hair, while I walk around fresh from the salon trying to be a model. Yes, according to him, I am one of those mothers. The ones that dress fly as hell, but yet allow their children to run around with matted heads, raggedy clothes and snotty noses.

I am pretty much use to his ignorance by now and am able to fight fire with fire, but never have I really participated in an all out, knock down, drag out, argument with him in front of Miss J. She knows that her mother is a spit fire, hence our time in the car, but she is not familiar with the sight of her parents fighting. She has no knowledge of the verbally, mentally and sexually abusive history that her parents share. She is only aware of the presence of mutual love, which is falsely recreate on my part just for her sake.

This time, the shit hit the fan in such a way, that she was uncomfortable to the point of telling me that she didn't want to go back to his house again. I was bothered by the fact that someone who calls himself her dad, would use language that hurts her. "Her hair is nappy. It looks bad. It looks like its never combed." These are the statements that he so boldly, and angrily proclaimed in front of his daughter. Over the years, I have worked hard to instill a positive self-image and strength into my daughter, and now, here comes a man, who is suppose to be doing the same things, but instead employs his voice to damage the way that she sees herself.

I am not going to allow anyone, man nor woman (my sister in-law thinks her hair is nappy as well), to make my child feel like she is anything less than beautiful, just the way she is. I told her that she does not have to go back, which I meant. I also take the time to tell her how beautiful she is each and every day and I show her pictures of other girls and women in books and magazines who share her fabulously unruly kinks and curls.

Here are a couple for you to enjoy.