12 weeks of summer classes came to an end today at 10:40am as I handed in a 97% completed final exam to my Clinical Psychology professor today. My eyes and smile met hers as I whispered that I would be emailing her that final 2 page write up on PTSD today. This scene is very familiar. It was only yesterday that I whispered those same words to my Gender & Women's Studies professor as I handed her my bluebook after the exam. So now, here I am, no more classes, but still responsible for producing roughly 6 pages of thought. FUCK!!! I can't think anymore, which is kind of funny since I am here "thinking" about all of the possible reasons that I should just close MS Word and forget about its subject matter. Its already 7:30pm and if I don't get this paper done tonight then it will make no since to attempt to turn it in tomorrow, since the summer term ended today. On the other hand, its only 7:30pm and I should have MORE than enough time to produce 2 more pages, that are coherent. Again... FUCK!!!

If I do get past this silly case of writers block tonight, 11 days of summer is waiting for me to enjoy them. I have spent the entire summer break just as I spent the last 5 months and then the 5 months before that... in school. So I should actually want to end this session knowing that I gave my all and earned the best possible grades that I could, but part of me just wants to settle for "passing" grades (B and C) because the majority of me is just flat out exhausted. Its very tiring work to have to simultaneously suppress stressful thoughts while producing knowledge. It is as equally tiring to do this while receiving knowledge as well, which ultimately results in either brain-overload or a break down of brain functioning. Right now I am somewhere between the two.

So yes, back to my upcoming 11 days of summer... I will take Miss J. to school and return home to get some well deserved "me" time. Thank God for a new school, which does not operate on the same schedule as the University, of which will then probably turn around to bite me in the ass during times like spring break. For now, it will be a blessing. I will relax and release my worries, which translates to cleaning the house and other preparations for a quickly approaching new semester, which further translates to me intending to do all of these things, but instead sitting on the couch for a straight week lost in the tv. Its always much more fun to do a weeks worth of work in one day, ha. Perhaps I will make it to the beach before returning to the grind of books, backpacks and lectures. Relaxing laid out on my beach towel, sunglasses covering eyes, ipod in ears and Miss J. busy making sand castles. That would be the ideal conclusion to another busy summer.