We all go through moments like this, we want to give up, it almost feels better to give up when were struggling to overcome an obstacle. But being real. you can't stop fighting, you can definitely take a moment such as now to collect your thoughts and cool off but giving up the fight cannot be an option.

Meditation is a great solution for exercising those thoughts, or heck, not thinking at all. That's what I learned about meditation, its a way to think about absolutely nothing, how you accomplish that...I don't know, but it's something to try :)

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -Bill Cosby

Such a great quote..and boy is it true!

I don't normally say this...
But....
Do you ma! lolol

Yes, we have all been here before. I meditate daily, sometimes several times. For me, the key is to control my thoughts. These days, when I find myself going down a not so nice path, I catch myself a lot faster. A "nope, not going there" brake, then I get up and go do something physical - like clean the bathrooms:):)

I recognize that slump you are in from my own life at times. And I cannot meditate. I just can't turn life off no matter how hard I try.

May you find peace in some way, some place! We have ALL been there! Your honesty makes you that much bigger than I! Hang in there! And... I will pray for you... if you will accept it!

If it means anything to you, I think you are very brave and very strong to let us into your life to let us know how you're really doing. You amaze me every day with the strength that you have to keep going.

Don't give up. It's not meant to go down like that. You will recover from this. Don't confuse a long recovery with an inevitable failure. It's not one and the same.

i hear you. remind me of something i read that said, "are you controlling your thoughts or are your thoughts controlling you?" most of the time i'd have to go with the latter. it can be so overpowering.

regarding your second paragraph, i was contemplating something similar to that earlier today and thinking about how i'm about to ease up on this whole, "i'm gonna do it all and see everything through to the end cause i have to and cause i know i can" mentality. cause half the time i'm doing stuff that's draining my energy and spirit in the worse way.

hell. i'm tired, and i'm allowing my *ownself* to be! (to take it back to one of those words my elder relatives would use) mendlol!

*sigh* i think we could both use an extended vacation away from it all...somewhere in a very natural, earthy setting it's only a short term fix, but maybe nature and just seeing the organic ways in which natural elements exist could bring back some balance and give insight into how it is we're supposed to relate to some of these not so natural, depleting situations and emotions. maybe...

and hopefully when we return some of those situations will have removed themselves from our realms!

I'm going to start calling you my sista from another mother Miss B. Especially considering how close in distance you are too me and how you have mirrored my words today (sighs)...I keep thinking this too shall pass. You are too deep for words.

I have absolutely been there, too...you are not alone! Hopefully things will get better - you deserve only the best. ((HUGZ!))

I went through some of the same crap . I also slept with a knife under my pillow for weeks because I was terrified of my childrens father. He tried to take my child 1 night when he was upset with me about something. i was over him saying he was going to hurt me so he figured he would take my oldest away. I had out 1 mth old in my arms. He put her down and had me pinned against the wall with my baby in my arms and a long kitchen knife to my throat and he told me that he would kill me. That was the absolute last straw. That was it for me. We lived together and he knew all of my fam and friends so there was no where I could go an feel safe. I filed a police report for abuse and about a week later he was picked up for taking my child from my car and leaving with her. I have 2 children with this man because I was ready to get rid of him but did not know how I had the job paid the bills,and took care of our daughter. He spent money drove around all day with his friends. After working cooking , cleaning washing me and the baby he would decided that he wanted to have sex. No matter how tired I was. How much I did not want to. How much I kicked and screamed and cried it did not matter. He would get what he wanted and then I could sleep. Thats how I ended up with the 2nd child. I want you to know I have been through the same stuff as you and trust me you can make it. You WILL make it. I promise i was looking out the windows every few min. I was scared to go to the car at night. I would look in my closets and cabinets every night when I get home. I was scared every time I crunk up my car because he has put sugar in my tank 2 times, drained the oil from my car once and took spark plugs from my car on another occasion. Please know you can get through all of that because I did. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Move it you have to . I moved to an entire new state he has no idea where I am. There are awesome men out there. I am with one that loves me no matter what and I sometimes wonder why I put up with that stuff as long as I did. Girl don't cry another tear don't let him know he is getting to you. Find a friend that u can stay with until you find a new place. Don't let him know where you are. Let me know if you want to talk I would love to speak with you. my e-mail address is cheetara51@yahoo.com I will also send my # if you would like it.