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Sexual Healing: Letters of Resolution

The power of the human spirit to "endure" is amazing.  Everyone has a story.  One that is unique to their own personal situation(s), and yet, belonging to a larger shared community as well.  And it is the sharing, and retelling of these stories that, I think, make both endurance and healing possible.  A long time ago I stumbled upon a certain "healing method" that I could never bring myself to give a try.  It was one which asked you to write a letter to those who have wronged you/hurt you. In this letter, you were suppose to say all the things that you kept penned up inside, about the ways that this person has negatively affected you.  And through this act of expression, healing is suppose to follow.  

It is an exercise that is meant to be a form of release and also one that places you in complete control over your thoughts and feelings.  Once the letter has been written, you do not have to deliver the letter to the person if you are still not ready to face them or confront them.  You can simply get all of those feelings out and hang on to it until you are ready or do something symbolic, like burning or ripping it into tiny pieces.

I am now up for this challenge.  There are two letters that I'd really like to write, to two people, both dealing with a form of sexual abuse.  This is one way that I can grant myself a platform and a voice while clearing experiences that tear at me on a daily basis.  These things should have a place, but not within my spirit.  Its time to release them and share their burdening power with the one who shall be held accountable and with another who "really needs to know" what occurred under her roof.    

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 12, 2009 and is filed under , , , . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .
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9 comments

Anonymous  
February 12, 2009 at 10:05 AM

Wow, girl that is deep. Are you sure you are ready because as you know it will open up a can of worms. But then, you've been dealing with it for so long and it's time to let the truth be told. Also, it will show your daughter your strength and I'm all for that. Keep us posted on this one.

Barbara  
February 12, 2009 at 10:34 AM

Yeah, I'm ready. One of the letters will go to Miss J's dad. Its not like he doesn't already know what's up, but I just need to get everything out "to him" about what he did to me and how it and his current actions continue to affect me. In hopes that he will take off his blinders. I'm not expecting an apology, but I figure since he wants to forget, if I continue to make him remember, perhaps he will "want" to apologize or at least gain a deeper understanding of why there will forever be a wall between us.

As for the other, that will go to my grandmother. That one is gonna be hard, but I have been holding onto it for a long time, breaking under its weight, and its not even because its hard for "me", I have been trying to spare her the guilt of knowing that yet another child was molested under her watch. She should feel absolutely no guilt, which I will try to make clear in the letter.

This process isn't about either one of them, its about me, and my mental health... my healing. So, yes, I am ready to "lay my burdens down" =)

I will definitely keep everyone posted on how the process goes... outcomes.

MaricrisG  
February 12, 2009 at 10:40 AM

Confronting your demons they say is the hardest but once you find the courage, it releases you from the bondage. Only you can tell when it's time to do so. It seems that you are. Wish you all the strength and solidity as you embank on this journey to freedom.

Radical Selfie  
February 12, 2009 at 5:03 PM

Let me tell you, I've done the "letter" before, and it truly is an act of cartharsis! I think it's generous of you to share yourself in your blog this way, and I appreciate you for it. Sometimes when we write, we don't know how others will receive us, but it's great to see that you are choosing simply to WRITE, Release and Reveal...how very brave of you!

Jewelry Rockstar  
February 12, 2009 at 8:47 PM

This a great practice. I used it years ago to purge a bunch of stuff associated with guys I had dated. Funny thing is I kinda used it the other day too. I wrote out a letter intended for someone I had a conversation with a couple nights ago. I felt misjudged, so I wanted to explain my point completely out. Well, the email send didn't work after several attempts, but I felt completely satisfied that I had gotten that energy out of my body.

This is gonna be a good exercise for you because you seem ready.

My Inspired Reality  
February 13, 2009 at 5:30 PM

I go through this exercise all the time - a truly cleansing experience. Go for it and know that you will purge a lot of negative energy. I will be thinking of you:)

Unknown  
February 13, 2009 at 6:13 PM

yeah, this is something i do frequently as well...write heartfelt letters to people i wanna tell something specific to but never send the letter. i feel much letter after i've gotten it out. it started a while back when i was writing a letter that i *did* intend to send. after getting it all out and seeing it in written form, though, i didn't feel the need to send it. it was a major *wow* moment. every since then i've been using this as a method of emotional cleansing.

looking forward to your outcomes.

all the best. :-)

Anonymous  
February 13, 2009 at 6:30 PM

I'm not sure this applies to you, but over at http://okayfinedammit.com the blogger Maggie is requesting submissions from survivors of domestic violence. Like I said, I'm not sure what all she's including within that category, but she has her email address on there if you feel like finding out more about it or asking questions. Just thought, as a writer, you might be interested in checking it out. This could be a stupid idea, I dunno. Just thought I'd share it.

Barbara  
February 14, 2009 at 12:14 AM

@ Anonymous - Your actions are not stupid nor is your inquiry or the information that you have left me. Thanks for pointing Maggie's blog and cause out to me. I will check her out.

I don't really consider myself a victim of domestic violence, but then again, in a way I was. There were some things that I did endure while in the relationship with my daughter's dad, but there were/are a host of other experiences with this man that came after the relationship ended.

So, again, thank you for your sharing your ideas. It sounds like something I might be interested in contributing to. After all... words have the power to heal.

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