AC Transit or Alameda-Contra Costa Transit, is the public bus service provider for two counties in the Bay Area. We also have BART, which is our metro system, better known as Bay Area Rapid Transit. These forms of public transportation come in handy for those of us looking for ways around high gas prices, gridlocked traffic and overpriced and limited city parking. I am a regular day to day rider of the bus line pictured above as I go to and from the UC Berkeley campus. With a heavy flow of pedestrians, environmentally conscious cyclists and paid parking, AC Transit or a combination of bus and BART is the best bet for the on-the-go student who has to commute.

This morning's hustle to the bus stop was not unlike the majority of mornings. A brisk walk headed away from Miss J.'s school to catch a bus that has just turned the corner, or sometimes a full on sprint across courtyards, backpack further wearing down already tired back muscles to ensure a seat on a bus that has just zoomed by as I walked out the front door. Which ever events lead me to be on board, the ride is always the same. 25 minutes of the iPod stuck in my ears, the mind preparing itself to receive knowledge and/or an article on my propped up legs that is in intense conversation with my highlighter.

For some reason, this particular morning just had to be the one where we got the lunatic driver. Now, to some degree, all bus drivers, or at least AC Transit drivers have that lunatic gene that rears its ugly head when their day has been about 30 minutes too long, or they have been asked one too many times if they go down Shattuck Avenue or to the BART station and have to explain to a student in distress that they should be catching the 51 instead of the 52L. I can't say that I can accurately pinpoint what the deal was with the woman behind the wheel this morning, but she was headed toward having a whole bus load of folks on her ass.

As soon as the bus doors opened she was yelling at everyone to have their passes out and ready before boarding the bus. Ok, I can do that. I always do that anyway. Let's see, bus pass in hand, quick flash to the driver, find a seat and settle in. Rewind. No! Take it all the way out of the holder, I need to see it! Excuse me! Replay. Start to get hot under the collar wondering what this lady's problem is, take a seat, press play on my iPod. I mean, can't she see? Everyone's pass looks the same, if you see one that is different then you'll know that its out of date.

She proceeded to drill everyone who boarded the bus and then turned the engine off without warning and sat in silence for about 5-10 minutes. Finally someone asked her if there was a problem. Her reply: Yes. "Ok, driver, what is the problem?" Her reply: Ya'll need to tell your friends or anyone you know that you can not board the bus with a counterfeit pass. My job is to take you to your destination and I will do that, but only when I have collected all of the fares. While we all sit dumbfounded, trying to 1st figure out who would even do such a thing when every student has a pass, and then trying to figure out how many lose screws this heffa has and which of us should go up to her and tighten them.

After calling an AC Transit authority to come out to the bus, about 15-20 minutes had gone by. The next bus to the University was approaching and everyone exited the lunie bin and hitched a ride on the straight-to-campus-minus-all-the-bullshit express. In the end, students who were made late to classes by the whole ordeal were given no apology, just a flat toned "go ahead and board, go ahead and board, have a nice day" from the Mr. AC Transit Authority. When confronted about the behavior of his colleague, the response came in that same flat tone, "thank you for your patience, have a nice day".


Dear Mr. AC Transit Authority and Ms. Lunatic Driver,

Have a nice day? That's easy for you to say. You are not the one who has just spent the last 25 minutes putting up with bullshit. You are not the one who had to rise from a perfectly comfortable seat, only to have to stand for 25 minutes on a different, now overcrowded bus. To ensure that this is not a repeat occurrence please do one or all of the following:

• Put that cow on another route.
• Get her on some medication.
• Get her some glasses.

Signed:

Ms. Likely to push Ms. Lunatic Drive down the next time I catch her outside that bus!

aka