I am slowly starting to realize that blogging takes some work. Its an entire process. Collecting thoughts, putting them together in a way that speaks to both you and possible readers, submerging yourself into the blogosphere, visiting and reading the blogs of others. I have been in this process for a couple of months now and although I have made a commitment to myself to use this space as a way of freeing my mind, I feel that I have not devoted part of myself to it. I have not made a specific place in my life, a specific spot on my internal schedule, that is set aside just for blogging. After reading Renee's words about having an "O moment", I had to question my own lack of "O moments". In not devoting a part of myself to this blog, does that mean that I am so busy that I can't set aside 30 minutes to an hour a day specifically for me? I sooo wanna say yes to this question, but the real answer is no. Yes, I am very busy with school projects and Miss J, but I do steal time for other things and people quite often, so why not create a permanent nuck for myself as well?

I am making an executive decision right now to stop feeling guilty about paying attention to myself. I could spend all the time in the world making sure that a smile is on Miss J's face and my ear is on duty for a friend's problems, but the minute I even think about myself, my needs, my own problems, I immediately want to push them aside and tell myself, "you don't really need that" or "you need to just suck it up and move on". Well, no more. There are things that I really need to focus on for me, like my health and mental clarity. Besides, how am I gonna save the world if all of my super powers are drained??

So, tomorrow is a brand new day for Ms. Bar B.

I pledge to be present for "me" time each day.
I pledge to make my health and wellness a priority.
I pledge to love myself more... oooo that's a big one.
I pledge to incorporate more O moments into my life.

and lastly,

I pledge to feel no quilt about waking Miss J tonight, as she has fallen asleep at the foot of my bed waiting patiently for me to read her a bedtime story after I finish this post.